Let’s hear it for Lenton, the most loveable shithole you’ll ever live in

There’s no place like home

Derelict houses, grotty takeaways, pubs always full of locals even in the middle of the day. To an outsider, Lenton would be so far down the list of desirable neighbourhoods, even in Nottingham.

First year was great, you didn’t have a care in the world. Bills were paid, the heating was always on and you didn’t even have to worry about cooking. Your friends were down the corridor and you would always see them at dinner anyway. But before you know it, first year’s over.

Second year has rolled around and now you’re in Lenton.  Lenton is where everyone learns to deal with living in squalor, without a boiler, functioning dishwasher or even proper sofas. Callous landlords couldn’t care less about the mould which is gradually encroaching on your sleeping area, and even your mum doesn’t want to visit any more.

On Derby road, you’ll have to deal with seeing flashing blue sirens through your shit blinds that keep next to no light out. Even worse, if you live on Kimbolton you’ve probably been burgled at least seven times already.

People even steal green bins

Anywhere else, this would be depressing, maybe even soul-destroying. But Lenton’s different. It’s a place where your mates are only five minutes away, where you’ll always see a friendly face even if you just pop out for some fags.

Theatre of dreams

Lenton’s also home to the most budget cinema ever, the Savoy. Walking in there feels like you’re stepping out of 2015 and back to 1970, which might be the last time they fully renovated the building. At £4.30 per ticket though, you can’t really complain.

The promised land

When you inevitably end up going out at least every Wednesday and Friday, one of the two Sainsbury’s locals will have your back.  Sure, you may bump into that girl you had a thing with in Crisis that one time, but it’s far better than mingling with the people that actually live in Nottingham.

You’re walking along Derby Road on a nice sunny day, with the sun in the right place, and the Victorian terraces almost look picturesque. The streets are filled with people you know, and suddenly your forget about your broken fusebox, the bins overflowing on the street, the time your car got broken into. None of it matters, because whether you’re Kimbo or Cottesmore, Derby or Dunlop, Lenton is home.