How to get a seat in Hallward this winter

Go away freshers


Barely November but already, like ants drawn to a fallen ice cream, second and third years are filing into Hallward and filling its brims. Soon Hallward will become the fiery Hades that strikes fear and trepidation into the hearts of all those faced with Christmas deadlines. And you’re going to need to find somewhere to sit.

Here, we reveal our top tips for getting a workspace and expose those secret spots that only true heroes of Hallward know about.

Go straight upstairs

Unless you like to pretend to work, and love the sound of pointless chat and incessant typing, don’t even bother with the ground floor. You’re never gonna be able to finish those notes whilst passive-aggressively fighting over a plug with your new ‘table-buddy’ and trying to drown out Gabby-from-the-adjacent-table’s complaints that she’s “sooo fucked” for this Macroeconomics exam.

Head straight upstairs for any real chance of getting a decent seat and some peace and quiet. Go for level 4 – the booths up here have higher walls which heighten that sense of claustrophobia that you really need while studying for an exam. You can also play footsie with the person opposite when you get bored.

These guys have got the idea.

These guys have got the idea.

Go early and bring food

Good luck trying to get a seat with a plug socket after lunch (unless you steal someone else’s – in which you case you risk this occurring). Arrive early and bring some food, preferably something non-rustling so as not to disturb your library girlfriend. Once you’re in, you’re there for the long run.

Secret Spots

If there’s nothing on level 3 or 4, you’re looking for something a little less mainstream or you’d like more elbow room than those unbelievably small green box chairs give you, then here are our top alternative spots.

Got enough room there?

Got enough room there?

Get a room will you

These are the dream. Spacious, quiet and you can have a sneaky go on Facebook without fear of being judged. Book the big ones with your pals if you’re keen. Otherwise, for the smaller individual rooms you need to be prompt – there’s some on every floor. As Andy Hoe would say: “COME EARLY!”.

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Disused furniture – Bottom of the back staircase

Hallward has a back staircase. Who knew? There’s a complete set up for working down here: more chairs than you can shake a stick at (though some may be broken) and a sizeable desk. A nice spot for individual study – I’d get there before it all gets chucked out though.

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Solitary tables – Bottom floor

On the way to the screening room – whatever that is. Some secret tables we guarantee most people don’t know about.

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Disabled toilets – Bottom floor

There’s a couple of really spacious disabled loos on the bottom floor if you’re really running out of luck. They even have desks, although if you get your hand too close to the drier while you write it can blow all your work away, so watch out for that. But, hey, at least you don’t have to leave your workspace when you need a toilet break.

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If all else fails…

Grab yourself a massive bean bag and park up for the night – you’ll be able to get a seat tomorrow. Hopefully.
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