Azeem fever is over, let’s call time on this sick joke

Is that the saxophone guy?

As part of their ingeniously named “TURN IT UP” event in Mooch at the end of freshers, URN are hoping to entice crowds with “world famous” special guest- Azeem Ward.

At some point around 4 months  ago, but feels like 3 years ago, Azeem and his senior flute recital became a viral sensation as semi-ironic British students blew up the Californian’s Facebook event. For a while, this man’s signature crouch and warm smile were absolutely everywhere, from the pages of the Metro to Jimmy Kimmel live.

Azeem Ward

Speaking to the Tab Leeds at the time, Azeem said: “I have no idea why the event is so popular in the UK, especially as it’s happening in the US.
“I thought only 100 people would attend, but the numbers I see now are crazy.”

Out of nowhere, Azeem’s facebook page became the ultimate source of online entertainment and general distraction from coursework.

This unexplainable, internet phenomenon coincided with the infamous “cheeky Nandos” fad to create a kind of super-meme. Azeem and peri-peri chicken went hand in hand. The whole student bubble was transfixed on this bizarre event and one sad case from Durham actually travelled all the way to California to meet Azeem himself.

On the surface, this is a harmless trend gone too far, nothing but some bored third years and an innocent flautist. But there’s something deeply sinister about Azeem. With his bright shirts and never-wavering smile, you can’t help but feel a sense of deep unease at his continued popularity.

Azeem rode this wave better than Kelly Slater could have but now his guest appearance in Mooch and UK tour is all a bit tragic. Attending this event will be a bit like traipsing around a half-empty Oceana to be asked if “you want some” by a belligerent local football fan.

The ironic veneration of this capable flute player has gone too far, Azeem’s musical cow has been milked dry and the humour has turned sour.

Azeem URN Poster

Call it a day guys

Whilst second, third or fourth years are expected to fall anywhere on the spectrum from mildly disinterested to passionately indifferent, freshers will of course be dumbfounded by the appearance of this American music grad and his place in their freshers week.

That being said, its been rumoured that all 15 of URN’s listeners will be in attendance, so will likely fill a couple of tables unless they’re on the big one in the middle.

Without knocking the man himself and his indisputable flute prowess, Azeem’s relevance crescendoed months ago, now its time for him to play his swan song and fade quietly into mediocrity with the likes of Andy Tate and the Wealdstone Raider.