We are destroying our copies of FIFA to protest against corruption

In a brave act of protest against world corruption, one fearless second year is boycotting FIFA by destroying their copies of the game. 

Valiant David Mant and pal Alex have turned their backs on the popular game FIFA 15 in the wake of the bribing scandal that’s rocked the footballing world. They plan on destroying all their copies of FIFA, past and present, and playing Pro Evolution Soccer instead.

David, 21, said it was “bad enough” when England were denied the World Cup in favour of Russia.

He said: “Since the purity of Ronaldinho’s FIFA 09, I have been unquestionably loyal to the FIFA franchise, purchasing a copy of each subsequent game.

“However my loyalty is no more. This year, when September arrives I will not be leaving a budget retailer with a copy of FIFA 16.”

Now, we are demanding an end to corruption by dashing away copies of the game old and new. Tab readers have had enough of FIFA’s antics. So have millions more hard working football fans. It is bitterly disappointing that Blatter has today been re-elected.

Alex waving goodbye to two years of game playing

David added: “It’s no longer innocent, it’s mass corruption.

“It is high time that we who uphold the traditional values of honesty and transparency, vote with our wrists – pick up PES 16 and down the bourgeoisie oppressor.”

This week in the build up to new Presidential elections, it emerged some of the top brass of the footballing body had been taking bribes worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

Seven FIFA officials, including Vice President Jeffrey Webb, were arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, just two days before Sepp Blatter succeeded in extending his reign on the footballing throne.

Now hordes of students are set to boycott Blatter, telling The Tab why they have had enough.

Gabriel Pogrund, 20, a UCL finalist said: “Until FIFA bins Sepp Blatter, I’m binning FIFA. If the comic book villain Blatter really didn’t know about corruption on such a scale, he was colossally incompetent. Either way, he’s got to go.

“My FIFA boycott starts today. I’ll start by not playing in the tainted CONCACAF league after so many of their officials are now locked down by the FBI.

“If it gets worse, I’ll stop altogether. I’ll miss Geoff Shreeves’ clumsy interventions and ultimate team, but this is something I have to do.”

‘This is something I have to do’

But Oli Dugmore, a finalist in Cardiff has only ever owned FIFA 13, loving it so much he never bought the sequels.

Now the 21-year-old has joined the boycott by snapping his only copy in half and stabbing it.

Oli snapped his only copy

Oli said: “I have decided to protest against endemic FIFA corruption in the only way I could, since boycotting matches is just unfeasible.

“England and David Beckham were robbed of their 2018 bid as a result of kick backs and shady deals. If you fuck with Golden Balls, you fuck with me. Get Blatter out.”

I am not one of those Pro-Evo fanboys, who still maintain the superior in-game physics outweigh the shifty glances, and love playing without the right names, like ‘London FC’ (Chelsea) or ‘Lancashire Claret’ (Burnley).

No, I am not a patriarchal bastard, this has nothing to do with FIFA’s decision to include female players in their next game.

But I can’t stand by Sepp Blatter’s tyrannical, corrupt regime. It was bad enough when England and a plethora of other viable host nations were farcically denied the opportunity to host the World Cup, in favour of a country with little stadia, and summer temperatures exceeding 50 degrees centigrade.

Recent developments prove these decisions were not innocent, and are in fact part of mass corruption.

Many might be wondering what they can do to show their disgust at FIFA.

No-one cares about your blog, or your ranting on a Facebook status. But FIFA does care about the revenue streams generated through sales of FIFA 16. So do the rational thing, keep calm and purchase PES.