ANOTHER ridiculous survey knocks Notts down but we still beat the poly

Does the Russell Group mean nothing any more

Nottingham is only the 28th best uni in the country, according to the new Guardian league table.

Falling from the dizzying heights of 22nd place in 2014, Notts has the indignity of being below glorified sixth forms like Coventry, Heriot-Watt and UEA in the latest pointless league table.

While Nottingham is consistently ranked in the top one per cent of universities worldwide, the quinoa-quaffing know-it-alls at Guardian HQ have decided that even Surrey deserves a top ten place over us.

guardian rankings notts

Other bang average “unis” that ranked higher than our less-than-impressive 28th position include Kent, Lancaster and local sport college Loughborough.

Third year Computer Scientist Jack said: “I’m fed up of being rubbished by league tables, I worked hard to get my BTEC to come here and I can’t stand when Notts does badly in these prestigious, relevant and well researched league tables.”

who cares about tables when our campus looks like this?

who cares about tables when our campus looks like this?

Compared to other East Midlands rivals however, we fared reasonably well, seeing off competition from Derby (73rd), Leicester (32nd) and Lincoln (54th).

Our town-dwelling rivals at Trent also had a bit of a mare, coming outside the top 50 and landing in 51st, an unpredictable result, and a slight improvement on their abysmal 57th in 2014.

Embarrassingly, NTU are actually ranked a full 13 places higher than us for Psychology, sitting pretty on a cushy spot at 23rd.

The fleecewearers at The Guardian also found that just 80 per cent of us will be in work six months after graduating, compared to nearly 90 per cent of Cambridge undergrads.

Surprisingly, the league table also revealed that nearly 30 per cent of current Notts students are unhappy with the feedback they receive.

But this league table was not all bad news for Notts, as it also found we were 13th for Law, 9th for Nursing and an impressive 5th for Pharmacy.

We’re also the best uni in the country for Agriculture, forestry and food courses, proving that something worthwhile does actually go on at Sutton Bonington.

The table conclusively proved that a Notts education is worth the nine grand-a-year price tag, giving us a better value added score than higher ranked big boys like Cambridge, LSE and York.

Plus, in the only league table that really matters, employability, we’re still higher than Oxbridge.

Right down at the screg end of the table, the unis that make Trent look like a credible place to get a degree include London Met (118th), Buckinghamshire New University (119th) and Trinity St. David (117th), where only 50 per cent of grads manage to find work six months after finishing.