The Nottscar: Student Union candidate videos rated and slated

Some of them were actually quite good

Student Union Elections are well under way and your newsfeed has been plagued with more election videos than Tab articles for once.

So we decided to run through the best of the best candidate vides with some interesting and unique categories. Welcome to the Nottscars, Nottingham’s academy awards.

The Blockbuster Epic 5 Star Movie Epic Blockbuster of the Year Award -Johnny Lawrence

It literally has everything you would expect from an epic movie: blood, zombies, cowboys, Thor, babies, gore, guns and that all important hero. Yes it’s a long one; but it is certainly worth the 9 minutes of your life that you won’t be able to retrieve afterwards.

And the brilliant thing is – it’s not even badly done. The acting is pretty spot on, the effects are simply amazing and Johnny Lawrence is a true hero of the people. With the usual blend of humour, action and passion this one is definitely a cracker and will be coming to an overpriced cinema near you.

Johnny told The Tab: “It means a lot that people appreciated it because I like making people laugh. Thanks to everyone who helped out and everyone who has voiced their enjoyment to me”

Best Director – Ben Malone

Sticking with the epic cinema scene, we have the award for Best Director. It is unconfirmed whether the man himself actually edited everything in his campaign video but Ben Malone has been around for a while so we can only presume it was him.

Regardless, this is a fantastic effort which is put together neater than your nan fits her puzzle pieces together – it just all structured so lovely and in its simplicity it paradoxically becomes an intricate piece of art.

Ben told us:”It was good fun and I hope people liked it. Took bloody ages though!”

The Matilda Award for Absolute Tune – Angharad

So here we have charismatic Angharad’s effort which looks to be the first in a series of Campaign videos

Song choice is all important when it comes to a Campaign video – I mean no one wants to be subjected to Taylor Swift over-enthusiastically moaning about her latest love affair  whilst trying to take in those all important manifesto points –

The Ben Parker Remembrance Award for Superb Motivation and Inspiration – Joe Turner

At first, I nearly shed a tear. And then it beginning – the rise from my chair; the extension of my legs; the optimistic look to the sky; the tensing of my huge biceps and then the anti-climactic slump back into my chair when I realised that today would be the 33rd day in a row that I promised myself “I’d go to the gym tomorrow” after having deep-fried a digestive.

But in all seriousness what this campaign vid lacks in words, it certainly makes up for in the sheer emotion it envokes in the viewer.

If this doesn’t get you going then nothing surely will; plus you’ll definitely remember Joe even if you don’t vote for him

Joe told The Tab:” I’m very honoured to receive this award and would like to thank my friends, my family and my amazing video god Leo Lightfoot for all their help and dedication”

The Go-Pro Award for Best Mix of Action Clips and Information – James Bramley

This one’s a good one – taking advantage of that wonderful craze that has been taken up by the adventurous amongst us (and those who have decided they’re going to go “find themselves” in a far foreign country and swim with dolphins and shit) – THE GO PRO!

Mr Bramley takes us a through a journey of wonderful sports with what seems to be a particular focus upon Lacrosse. I almost felt as if I was amongst some of the action and my fitness levels never felt greater. Me: on top of the world. James Bramley: on top of his campaign.

James told The Tab: “I’d like to thanks my family, friends and a bloke called Ben Gordon. He was the genius behind it and I wouldn’t have won this prestigious award without him.”

The Scroobius Pip and Kanye West Collaboration Award for Swaggiest Rap – Turnbull 

Now I don’t like to pick out favourites – and I won’t tell you the others that are in the running – but this is an absolute belter.

Turnbull tells it as it is: “I could spend this video just talking about my manifesto points. But I’d much rather drop some sick filthy beats.”

He’s also made the effort when it comes to costume with a whole collection of shocking tattoos (which I really hope aren’t real) and we can’t leave this without a special shout-out for the cheeky blonde who takes part in some saucy background dancing in most of the shots for our Scroobius lad.

When we told Turnbull of his awards success, he quipped:”Brilliant! I wholeheartedly accept this, the highest of accolades, and shall wear it proudly as a badge of honour as I go to do gangster rap battle in the mean streets of Nottingham.”

The Future David Attenborough Award – Sam Peajer

Here we are, in the warm climes of Nottingham where we’ll be taking a look at the wild Students Union candidate and their behaviour.

Let’s not beat around the bush – Sam Peajer’s voice is simply magical, simply soothing, simply Attenborough. The campaign video itself has an intriguing documentary style to it which of course is very informative and the whole package just screams news report.

The Cheer Me Up Buttercup Award – Daniel Rattigan

You may remember Karni rep Dan from his epic 7 legged costume and he’s back with this cheery video.

Earth, Wind & Fire – September, feel good tune with feel good vibes. Lots of yellow and the cheery face of one Mr Dan Rattigan. How can you not do nothing but smile your way through this little joyful gem!? The human afro really gets his message across with this catchy and simple campaign video!

Dan said:”Means the world, my biggest achievement to date. I’d like to thank Kate McShane and Alex Pantling”

Rob Jennings – The Most Statistically Intense Award

Intense they are, but everyone loves a good statistic and why not include it in a campaign like this? It is slightly confusing initially and throughout as to what the numbers actually mean (some just seem totally random and blatantly unrealistic); but in the end Rob pulls through strong by linking it to his policies and his experience.

Rob told us: “The stats don’t lie counting those dings and dongs took a while”

The “I Lost Odds So I’m A Candidate” Award – Stephen/Yolobearcommunitybear

Here it is best just to say that Stephen – who has a luscious, silky Irish tone if I do say so myself – throughout his campaign video, seems to be looking beyond the camera with a cheeky grin plastered straight across his face, that comes close to ruining the whole video.

The only conclusion to come from this is that Stephen actually lost a round of Odds and therefore had to put himself forward as a candidate; what other logical explanation is there?

Dave: “’’ere, mate, odds on you putting yourself forward for Community Officer?”

Stephen: “’tree to one”

Dave: “ok, three, two, one”

Stephen: “tree”

Dave: “three”

Despite this initial feeling, the video itself is actually quite effective and Mr Yolobearcommunitybear was close to winning the Best Support Act due to the number of anonymous wiggling hands that help him out during his Campaign vid.