Booted candidate slams SU’s ‘fascist elements’ after Troll the Vote campaign is quashed
Je suis Venu
A hapless President candidate has been booted from the race after just a few days.
Venu Katta has been unceremoniously dumped from this year’s SU presidential race because he is no longer a student at Nottingham, despite being cleared to stand.
Venu, whose policies included three free pints a week at mooch, a direct zip line between halls and Ocean, and all future elections be decided by the Hunger Games, was booted out by Activities officer Joe Caunce.
In retaliation he called him a communist who hates democracy and freedom.
Despite having completed his semester at UoN, and not even still living in the UK, Venu was originally cleared to be put onto the ballot earlier this week.
Bumbling staff at the Union failed to realise their error until Katta’s ‘Troll the Vote’ Facebook page was launched.
A disappointed Venu said: “After infiltrating the ballot without being detected, I amassed broad support for a campaign of the people.
“However, as a result of not currently being a student at Nottingham, ‘the man’ unceremoniously booted our campaign off the ballot. But the troll the vote campaign lives on in our hearts.
“In this moment of defeat at the hands of the oppressive, fascist elements of the SU, I take solace in the highlights of our earth shattering 48 hour campaign.
“700,000 babies were born over the past few days across the world. Now I’m not saying our campaign was solely responsible for all their safe deliveries, but I’m going to say like 55% of them probably were.
“For all the jokes I made, this campaign’s biggest joke was the SU: who let me on to the ballot and then panicked that I was making fun of the bull shit proposals they campaign on year in and year out.”
The news of Venu’s forced exit comes just days after another presidential candidate, Sebastian Glen, quit the race unexpectedly.
SU president, Harry Copson told The Tab:”“Unfortunately Venu is not currently registered as a student and so is ineligible to run in the elections this year.”
The remaining candidates are as follows:
• Angharad Smith
• Ben Malone
• Ed Keevil
• Johnny Lawrence
• Marcos Luz
• Nicole Ocansey
• Sebastian Glen
• Shusha Mahdy
• Venu Katta
• William Segrave