Bandemonium: Hoe sees red after ceiling invader

The odds are never in his favour

A second year has been banned from Ocean for three month for climbing into the ceiling. 

Many an ocean trip ends in disaster, but for LJ pride definitely came before the fall.

The Odds game landed LJ in hot water in the Ocean toilets.

A suspicious looking part of the ceiling tempted the lads and LJ was given his odds.

He told The Tab: “The odds were between 1 and 10 and we both said four.

“So I was like fuck it, I’ll go up and just come down.”

ocean ceiling

Reveler LJ quickly hopped up through what he thought was a broken ceiling tile into the crawl space in the loft.

It was actually a crawl space for maintenance works.

Seeing LJ encouraged another punter to try his hand. But the commotion in the Ocean caused security to barge in.

ocean ceiling 2
They commanded LJ down from his perch and collared his accomplice who was immediately thrown out.

LJ was escorted to the cloakroom where he lost both his student ID and his pride.

He was then rapped with a three month ban from his favourite club.

Distraught, he said: “I was absolutely gutted, I go to ocean every week. This is the worst thing to happen.”


The hatch has since been bolted shut

Poor LJ is not a virgin to the cruelty of the odds game.

His friend, second year Max Medhurst, told us how LJ lost again. He had to eat a used urinal cake.

He said: “I beat LJ in odds last year, we both hit 47 out of 100 and he had to eat a used urinal cake.”

After posting about his three month ban on Facebook, Ocean big dog Andy Hoe put LJ firmly in his place.

Hoe said: “Idiot is the only word that springs to mind. By the way that’s not ‘a broken ceiling tile’ it’s a hatch into the crawl space for maintenance for electricians etc. As you can see from the photos, the ceiling is plastered.”

LJ is now appealing to Lord Hoe for clemency during the festive season, in the hope his ban may be lifted.