Nottingham is the best uni in the East Midlands, the UK and probably the world

Forget what your red-trouser wearing Oxbridge friends say, ignore those heathens over at city campus, Notts is simply the best place to do a degree.

In the world.

The golden days of sixth form, when you first glanced at the gorgeous hills of the downs in a glossy prospectus, probably seem like a lifetime away.

But lucky for you, since you didn’t fuck up your A-levels too badly, you’re at the best university you could’ve picked.

But don’t just take my unbiased opinion, here are some facts to prove I’m not chatting shit.

It’s Cheap

Nottingham is one of the cheapest cities in the UK to live. That’s a fact.
On average, rented accommodation costs just £320 per person a month.

Compared with £657 for a space about as big as a cupboard down in Landan, we’re laughing all the way to the bank.

It’s not just our houses that are cheap either. A study by the Telegraph found that it only costs Notts freshers a measly £182 a week to live in our fair city.

This may seem like a lot, but when compared with the £272 a week that Oxfordians are forking out, it looks like we’ve done quite well.

In addition, where else in the UK could you get a £5 Jäger pint?

Nowhere, Because Blue Bell is the best.

The City’s great

There are over 600 bars and clubs in Nottingham city centre and most of them are pretty good.

From the sticky floors of Ocean to the dark corridors of Stealth, Nottingham nightlife has something for everyone.

Want to dress like you’re in Chelsea and have more ingredients in your drink than zeros in your bank balance?
Coco Tang’s got your back.

Want to just go out, have a good time and see all your friends?
Go pretty much anywhere.

Whether you like getting properly into a bit of S Club 7 or you want to see a techno DJ that no-one’s ever heard of, you can do it in Notts.

Also, it’s really safe.

Campus is gorgeous

Whilst most of the Midlands is stuck in a state of perpetual grey, our little bubble of greenery stands tall and proud.

Widely accepted to be the prettiest uni in the UK, Nottingham is also home to the greenest campus in the world.

We have a lake, a massive one. That you can take a boat on. And everyone else is jealous of it.

Where else in the UK could you go sledging on campus? Or feel like you’re in an American college film?

We’re all really smart

As well as having all these physical redeeming features, Nottingham is also one of the most highly regarded universities in the world.

We’re in the Russell group, which means we’re one of the few unis worth going to, and we consistently score highly across nearly all subjects, especially law.

Nottingham is ranked within the top 1% of all universities worldwide and placed 72nd in the QS World University Rankings 2012–13, which means we are one of the best uses of £27k in the world.

Employers bloody love us

A recent study showed that we are the most employable grads in the country. Oxbridge came in third and fourth, and they’re meant to produce some of the brightest sparks there are.

Also, LinkedIn tells us that our grads go on to work for worldbeating companies big names like Sky, the BBC, CNN and Youtube and one of our grads, Hannah Tallett is an anchor on sky news.

Even better news is that, 6 months after graduating, 94% of Notts grads are in work or further study with an average salary of over £22k.

Not only is your degree from Notts gonna get you a job, its gonna get you a good one, probably at Sky.

Ocean.

This needs so little explanation.

If you’ve been at Notts for longer than a week, you immediately realise the awesome power that King Hoe and his Big O wield.

A night of simple pleasures and an even simpler drinks menu, it would be absurd if any article promoting Notts failed to mention its premier cultural institution.

With random events like a cameo appearance from the Hoff himself, the magic that is Ocean can’t be put down in words.

It has to be felt.

So, freshers of 2016, if you haven’t realised what a truly special place Notts is by now, then there really is no hope for you.

When this year’s class graduate, it’ll be up to you to educate the newbies on what’s what.

Don’t fuck it up.