Confessions of a chundergraduate

Student’s sick has been big news lately, but here at features we’re more interested in the important stuff.

We hit Uni Park to talk vomit in carrier bags, Cav’s JCR, Ocean mishaps and the ultimate place to tactical chunder (the shower apparently). Be warned; it got messy.

Sam, 1st year Economics

Confession: “My mate threw up over all his clothes, he just gave up and threw up into his wardrobe”

Chunder Control: 8/10. To be fair to this guy’s mate at least it was in a confined space.

Grim rating: 6/10. Pretty grim, boy’s gonna be reeking of vom for weeks.

Jack, 1st year Natural Sciences

Confession: Jack tells us “yeah she threw up 4 times in Ocean all over the carpet, then again in the taxi, and then at home too”

Chunder control: 1/10. Those are some waves none of us are keen to ride, although top effort for not getting kicked out by the Hoe.

Grim rating: 5/10.  That carpet has just been replaced, have a bit more respect!

Matt, 1st year Natural Sciences

Confession:  “I  know someone who just left a Tesco bag of their own sick in Cav’s JCR and just walked away”

Chunder control: 10/10. Elegant as fuck.

Grim rating: 8/10. Standard Cav.

Chris, 2nd year Law student

Confession:  “We attempted a Centurion in Freshers (1 shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes) and I got completely fucked and passed out in the JCR. I couldn’t even see the card scanner to get back into my room so I just threw my wallet at it whilst throwing up around me. Everywhere, the sick was everywhere. Afterwards I threw up in my sink too”

Chunder Control: 1/10. By the sounds of it the chunder was everywhere, just everywhere but we give Chris the centurion 1/10 for his belated sink effort.

Grim rating: 9/10. Standard overestimation of drinking ability whilst ensuring his hall got to share the stench of his messiness for weeks to come.

Krish, 3rd year English student

Confession:  “Basically we were playing a Harry Potter drinking game and things got a bit out of hand. I ended up throwing up in my bed instead of going out. Safe to say I didn’t  Slytherin-to bed that night”

Chunder control: 2/10. Throwing up on oneself is the lowest form of self  control.

Grim rating: 7/10. Making a sick pit out of your bed is no fun for anyone.

Aaron, 1st year Economics

Confession: “I threw up on myself in the shower. I felt cleansed both internally and externally”

Chunder Control: 10/10. We feel if you’re going to throw up anywhere, this is the place.

Grim rating: 2/10. Not the freshest shower you’ll ever experience but nonetheless a “cleansing” experience.