Fresher rep snorts condom, pulls it out through his mouth

Impressive, or disgusting?


A heroic fresher rep has wowed crowds with a truly amazing feat, by feeding a condom through his nose and pulling it out of his mouth.

Sam, a second year medic, won the right to be a Cripps Hall WeekOne rep when he got inventive with a contraceptive.

He said: “Thought no one else would do something as minging. I didn’t wanna do it for nothing.

“It felt a bit weird. It’s like when you’ve got a really blocked nose and it all suddenly clears.” 

Encouraged by onlookers, he gets stuck straight in and, with some truly disgusting phlegmmy noises, the johnny finds itself well and truly wedged up his nose.

Blocking his left nostril to aid the passage of the lubey prophylactic, our hero shows solid determination to complete his task.

The moment of insertion

One female spectator can be heard to say: “I’m scared he’s going to die.”

Batting away concerned onlookers, he implores the crowd to “bear with me” as he encounters some difficulty.

The light at the end of the tunnel

But rallying round, he paints his face with a look of steely grit as he fishes in the back of his throat for the wandering johnny.

Finally, triumphantly standing in his flour-covered t-shirt in front of the baying crowd, he delivers and presents his prize.

One of Sam’s adoring fans

Thankfully our hero couldn’t taste the slimy exterior of the johnny. Sam said: “It didn’t spend that much time in my mouth, was just trying to get it out of there.”

“I’d done it once before, I couldn’t think of anything else to do so I just went for it.”

The Tab would like to advise all readers that ingesting condoms in this way may negate their contraceptive effect.