Notts slips in Guardian guide

UoN thoroughly average in new league tables, beaten by non-uni Aston

Notorious lefty rag The Guardian released their 2015 complete university guide, with Notts coming in at a decidedly average 23rd place.

Despite gaining five places since last year’s guide, Nottingham has not managed to get into the top 20 since 2012. Unis were rated on a wide variety of areas including quality of research and student satisfaction.

But, some on Twitter have been quick to criticise the Guardian’s methods:

Notts was beaten by some incredibly boring, incredibly mediocre Unis, including Surrey, Leicester and the titan of research that is Aston.


Some students have claimed the Guardian may be biased in its ordering: “The Guardian knows that Notts isn’t the usual hippy dippy uni and our ranking has suffered as a result, they should just stick to telling us how to make Quinoa filled Butternut Squash,” said Joe, a second year computer scientist.

This is not the first league table that has been unkind to Notts, as the Complete University guide also put us at 23rd and said our grad prospects were only 19th best in the land.

These results put us in a decidely average part of the table and in the middle of the Russell Group, but far ahead of poly-in-denial Liverpool at 45.

UoN have maintained their dominance in the city, beating the cretins in town by a comfortable 34 places in the only competition that actually counts.

The 7th best place in the UK to be a boring prick

The 7th best place in the UK to be a boring prick

The boffins in LASS really came through for us, netting us a 7th place finish in Law, beating King’s and Bristol comfortably.

This table may seem somewhat discouraging, but after being ranked the top uni in the country for employment opportunities by actual employers, the opinions of a few lefty types in hemp shirts are frankly irrelevant.