REVEALED: The best courses to get laid in the UK

What’s the boy:girl ratio for your subject?


For many students, finding a partner is one of the primary aims of university life. For others, uni is about cramming in as much promiscuity as physics and walk-in clinics will allow. Either way, uni is a place for flirting, preening and hunting for sex.

But which courses are the best for fulfilling those biological urges? As always, we’ve done the maths for you (we got the data from the Higher Education Statistics Authority). Whether you’re straight, gay or one of the other ones, this is all the info you need.

English

The bad news for literary hetero-femmes is is that, on average, two thirds of English students are female. But, Juliets looking for a Romeo could land themselves a well-read, potentially edgy, deep-thinking Lothario. That’s if you manage to fend off the competition.

For boys doing English, life could not be easier. You don’t even need to go to the gym. All you need to do is attend your seminars wearing your thickest-rimmed glasses and frown thoughtfully whilst your lecturer tells you how Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness is all about his journey through puberty.

Throw in the odd remark about utopianism or existentialism and you’ll be swamped, stud.

Nursing and Midwifery

Shockingly, Nursing and Midwifery is a female dominated subject. 82% of students are in these “subjects allied to medicine” are women, making it a course which is bound to deliver a girlfriend. While having a midwife as a partner will undoubtedly make you a popular couple for expecting friends, the crowning glory is surely the fact that you know any potential baby will be in safe hands.

Yeah, you aren’t too fussed about that now, but just you wait. When little Junior is days from birth, you’ll be glad you Called the Midwife.

If you’re wondering about vets, it’s the same, but they’ll be looking after your dog.

Engineering

86% of engineering students are male, so the subject on that information.

Chris Griffiths, a third-year student at the University of Nottingham, found it so hard to find a girl that he was forced to take desperate measures: “Engineering is such a sausage fest that I had to resort to going out with a politics student.”

But, with a variety of disciplines ranging from chemical to mechanical, this is an absolute goldmine for straight women and gay men looking for creative, pragmatic thinkers.

Physics and Astronomy

Although studying Physics or Astronomy is a great move if you’re looking to get into something cool like space travel or gravity, they’re not known for free love.

With blokes making up 77% of its students, male astronomers will have to head elsewhere to find the shining light of their life.

However, some women (one woman so far) say that “there is nothing sexier than talking about stars”…

Computer Science

Looking for a boyfriend? Computer science is a staggering 83% male, making it THE place to be for hubby-hunting (or dying alone, if you’re a heterosexual male).

Just ask Elina Desaine, the Official Horniest Student in the UK, who said that she used her position in the computer science club to pick up boys. Not only do computer science students have pretty good job prospects, they are also notoriously useful in times of wi-fi problems, laptop malfunctions and illegal streaming.

Throw in the fact that these guys make excellent gamers and it’s clear that computer science is the place to go if you’re looking to CTRL + F a top-notch bloke.

Law

It’s strange, because the word normally conjures up the image of tedious blokes in “lawsoc” hoodies talking over everyone, but law is actually dominated by women. 62% of the robotic smuggards are in possession of a vagina.

But whatever their gender, we wouldn’t recommend them as life partners (or indeed friends) – they’ll be busy, frighteningly assertive and nothing says “doomed to fail” like a pre-nuptial agreement.

Psychology

As if boys didn’t have enough trouble understanding the female brain, less than a quarter psychologists are male on average. So, not only are these guys trained experts in female behaviour (probably), they’ve also got hundreds of women fighting for them. It’s a tough life.

Third year Psychology student Sia Raigal said: “It’s pretty hard to find a boy in Psychology but when you do, you know you’re onto a winner.”

Medicine

Supposedly a hotbed of sexual activity, medicine is slightly skewed in favour of women, who make up 57% of “medics”. With numbers that even, there’s room for everybody to get lucky after a long day cutting pieces off a cadaver.

Architecture

Are you looking to build a relationship? One with strong foundations? Well, look no further than Architecture, Building and Planning students, 70% of whom are male.

Arty, pragmatic, hard-working and soon to be really stonking rich, these guys are the quietest, smuggest alpha males on campus. They don’t need to get blind drunk, score tries and run around naked to prove their worth, they just know they’re better than you.

Languages

Having seen a couple of James Bond films, it’s fair to say that nothing is more appealing than foreign accents.

69% of language students are female, and while the vast majority of them could be from Dudley or Hull and have really horrific natural accents, their mastery of the foreign tongue shrouds them in mystery and intrigue.

So not only do you get to enjoy minimal contact hours and a year abroad, the odds of landing a lady du langue are in your favour.

Maths

You think it’s all strange boys scribbling strange things on chalk boards don’t you? Well think again, sexist. Maths now boasts nearly 4000 female graduates a year compared to 5000 male. So either way, you’ve got a decent chance.

The bad news is the mathmos have spent so long doing quadratic equations many of them have lost the ability to commnunicate or conceive of normal human relations in their marvellous minds. Only joking, please don’t have a go at us on Twitter.

Social studies (including politics, geography and sociology)

It wasn’t our choice to group these subjects together, but 65% of their students are female. Presumably in sociology it rises even higher, while geography is packed full of meathead rugby players doing colouring in, or “husband material” as they’re known at Durham.