The trials and tribulations of living in all girl house
Revealed once and for all. Period
Over the years, the fairer have successfully convinced men that we’re delicate flowers who never fart.
But behind closed doors, there’s a whole other story. Living in a house full of girls certainly has it’s benefits, but there’s also a dark side.
Someone is always baking
This might sound like a stereotype but it generally is true dat bitches lurrrrve cakes.
Nothing can cheer you up like coming home from a long day of lectures to wafting smell of a warm batch of cookies.
Just remember, girls are insatiable predators so get them while you can – it could be a whole two days before someone fancies making another batch.
When traipsing around student areas, the all-female houses quickly become obvious.
The boy houses smell like dirt, feet and sweaty ball-sack.
The girl houses resemble an Ikea showroom, complete with fruit bowl and candles.
By living with other girls, you get the maximum amount of home comforts. Now pass the blanket…
After the initial flick-through, most magazines get discarded on the table – ready for the next person to come across them.
Why fork out for the latest Vogue when you can wait five minutes for someone to chuck it?
You might miss out on a good mag freebie, but you’ll be able to borrow it at some point anyway.
Got nothing to wear out tonight but can’t afford a Topshop binge?
Beg, borrow and steal a from a richer, better dressed housemate!
Just make sure you wash the smell of Jagerbombs and regret out the next day.
Seat always down
There’s less risk of injury incurred when reclining on a seat-less toilet.
And if this does occur, you’re perfectly in your right to rage at your housemates boyfriend. No rent = no toilet rights.
Also, we all know that boys can’t aim so by living in a penis-free house, you should avoid accidentally stepping in a splash zone.
Unsightly ornamental displays
Being a woman sucks sometimes – once a month in fact.
Despite what the Always adverts like to tell us, there is no such thing as a happy period and being reminded that your housemate is currently in a state of distress is not a fun experience.
Or worse you’ll all sync and have simultaneous raging hormones.
Battle for the bathroom
Chances are you’ll frequently struggle to have a bath undisturbed by a knock on the door.
Having a house night out requires organisational skills akin to a military operation. Rotas are attempted but when you gotta go, you gotta go.
Game of ‘whose shampoo is whose’?
Once in the bathroom, you’re faced with the quagmire of lotions and potions the female species love to hoard.
This can also lead to a serious case of “Lotion Envy”.
There’s always that one housemate who splurges on Elizabeth Arden, and meanwhile you’re stuck with the ‘meant-to-smell-like-lemons-smells-like-turd’ shampoo from Poundland.
You thought living without your family cat would mean the end of hair balls? You thought wrong.
Ladies shed so much hair it’s a wonder we’re not all bald and it has to go somewhere – its favourite meeting place?
The plug of the shower.
Pulling it all out is a job everyone dodges, so chances are you’ll shower and be left standing in a two inch-puddle of soupy disgustingness.
No one to do ‘man jobs’
You know all those things dad does at home, like heavy-lifting and ceremonial spider executions?
They’re all on you.
If you’re lucky, you’ll be living with someone who is prepared to be practical.
There’s always that person who brings a screw driver with no idea how to use it…