Lad Culture? Indie Culture is the real problem

We hear complaints about the lad culture at uni, but the snowballing indie movement is far more of an issue, says Cameron Tobin

Never did I foresee the day where having a bowl haircut was at the forefront of ‘cool’ in society.

Being ‘indie’ is taking over University; you cannot take two steps around campus without seeing garish patterns, jeans rolled half way up people’s legs and t-shirts which have been effectively turned into beaters by those willing to let their upper arms brave the cold winter months just to make a statement of how different and edgy they are.

On a night out, you will find yourself surrounded by these people. Either seen pre-ing on a bottle of Rosé or some spirit that no-one has ever heard of (apparently vodka is too mainstream), they clump together in places like the Black Cherry Lounge at Rock City or the Bakery in the Lace Market, bouncing along to house music by someone no-one has ever heard of.

Indie culture is coming for you

From what I can see, indie-ness encompasses a snowball effect. For example, that first roll of the t-shirt set the snowball rolling, and since then every person who considers themselves edgy, individualistic or any other self-aggrandising adjective has not been able to resist adding another roll to their sleeve, just to demonstrate how ground breaking and independent they are of fashion norms, right to the point where the only sleeve they have is a gigantic roll on their shoulder.

There is a special place in hell for whoever made that first roll on their t-shirt.

The culture doesn’t stop with this, though. The fixation on being ‘different’ has led to some of the most bizarre progressions of appearance I’ve ever seen. Hair is being sliced and diced into disgraceful styles akin to the famous Ronaldo trim of the 2002 World Cup purely to make a statement; if you shave 70% of your head and leave the 30% long and filled with product, you will look different, but you will also look like a knob.

Congratulations, you're so different it's mainstream

Congratulations, you’re so different it’s mainstream

It’s almost like trying so hard not to be cool, or ‘mainstream’, is the new cool. Which means that everyone is going to try to be uncool in order to be cool. I surely can’t be the only one that has clocked the irony in this?

If being indie is being different, and therefore cool, then surely the fact that so many people are now indie that being indie must have become mainstream? I hope so, because it means this diabolical trend might finally fizzle out as those who created this empire flee from the monstrosity that they created.

I miss lad culture. At least they didn’t look down their noses at anyone who doesn’t wear something with a fucking triangle on it. They just drunk themselves to oblivion and moved along, albeit taking some casualties on the way.

Maybe the indie movement is just a phase. Maybe it’s just going to get worse.

All I know is that I can feel my sleeves getting shorter by the day, and I don’t like it.