A lesson in 34 etiquette
The wheels on the bus go round and round, all around Lenton.
Every day, Notts students board this orange wonder in which friendships are maintained, 9am hopes shattered and awkward exchanges not quite avoided.
Such a prolific mode of transport deserves its own article.
Here are the rules to having the journey of your dreams on Notts’ most-loved dinky city looper.
1. Don’t be disheartened by this sight, hang in there bud:
2. Do clutch your pound coin/ bus pass to your bosom as if it were a new born child.
3. Accept with grace that this patch of red is actually lava, and that you will not be granted entry if you have to stand on it:
4. Do not anger the bus pass machine, you will be shunned by your peers.
5. Politely avoid conversation with someone you sort-of-know. DO NOT ENGAGE TARGET. ABORT, ABORT.
6. If you fall into someone’s lap, don’t just sit there for a bit in the hope they haven’t noticed. They have.
7. Pole dancing is for some reason is frowned upon – ignore da haterz.
8. Moving down the bus is really important.
9. Participate in the sombre moment of silence for the students at the next bus stop which the 34 so callously zooms past.
10. NEVER assume that no one you know will be on the bus when you recount that Ocean story.
11. Taking up more than one seat is a crime akin to high treason.
12. …a kip is probably out of the question
13….as is posing like a French girl.