Things to do on Valentine’s Day as a bitter singleton
You’re single and alone. You’ve convinced yourself to try not to be a martyr on this most wretched day, but The Tab responds: where’s the fun in that?
We’ve compiled a list of suggestions enabling you to go forth and celebrate the shittiest day of the year in style.
1. Do a group sabotage of the nauseating Valentine’s Day card displays in Clinton’s.
2. Create your own personalised ‘Anti-Valentine’s Day’ e-card to send to your ex.
3. Crash your housemate’s romantic evening.
4. Learn ‘Someone Like You’ on the piano.
5. Bake a heart-shaped cake so that all of your other single friends can come over and help you cut- I mean, eat it.
6. Bulk buy Pringles in the effort of soaking up some- not all- of the alcohol you will no doubt consume. In your room. Alone.
7. Draw little faces on your, ahem, hand of choice.
8. Try on some wedding dresses to have something to aspire to.
9. Craft your own boyfriend or girlfriend.
10. Feel good about yourself by going for a dignified, albeit sweaty run. (Alone.)
11. Recreate the dance to Single Ladies to experience maximum single empowerment.
12. Try speed dating.
13. Embrace your more tragic side and spend the evening not giving a shit, like this: