Guilty Pleasure Revision Music
The Tab never hides its Spotify
Revision can do strange things to you… and that is an extreme understatement.
Levels of crazy can range from simply wearing your cardigan out and not noticing to full on Mount Vesuvius eruption:
“OMG FUCK THIS I’M GOING TO BE A STRIPPER OH WAIT I’M FAT FROM ALL THE COMFORT EATING I’VE BEEN DOING OH GOD I’M GOING TO BE A FAT STRIPPER ON JEREMY KYLE ALL BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID EXAM.”
You get the idea.
But one form of crazy we all secretly suffer from during this stressful period is that strange music taste you suddenly develop over revision.
The Tab finds your guilty pleasures and exposes them to public: do not be ashamed, be proud of your corny music taste!
1. For when you want to feel motivated: FILM SOUNDTRACKS
From Harry Potter to The Lion King, film soundtracks have been uploaded onto students’ iPods to serve this exact purpose:
You need motivation and only an awe-inspiring score will do it for you.
BEWARE – Can cause emotional break downs if you listen to the wrong part of the soundtrack; Mufasa’s death should be avoided at all costs unless you want your inevitable emotional breakdown to come sooner rather than later.
2. For when you need to convince yourself of your intelligence: CLASSIC FM
This is when you’re starting to question how you actually got into a decent redbrick uni because you understand absolutely none of your lecture notes.
Soothing most of the time, Classic FM provides us with the musical equivalent of completing a crossword; you feel like you’ve gained a righteous level of intellect but in reality it has contributed nothing to your overall IQ.
3. When you’ve had too much Red Bull and are feeling pumped: WEIRD SUPER-FAST DANCE MUSIC
Your brain is thinking about ten times faster than your body with this amount of caffeine, so obviously it picks your music before your ears realise that they are bleeding profusely.
You’ve never taken an interest in this music before, and you never, ever will again.
4. When you’re pulling an all-nighter and its hit 3am: TRIPPY HOUSE MUSIC
Your eyelids are starting to close and the last thing you need is something lulling and repetitive…
BUT OH WAIT THE BASS DROPS I’M AWAKE AGAIN!
The problem starts when in Eton Messy’s musical masterpiece he asks over and over “Do you like drugs?” and you start writing what you hear.
Pro Green is the only authority that’s gonna appreciate that shit.
5. When you really need to get some fucking work done: SOFT INDIE
Dohhhh, this is much nicer than the scary house music, this video has fields of barley in it.
Everything is going to be fine, just stick on the whole album then the chapter will be done by the end of it.
Even better, you never have to listen to it again.
6. When its all gotten too much: OCEAN SOUNDS
If you’ve started crying in the Hallward library loos then you probably need 11 hours of ocean sounds.
Breathe in, breathe out. Isn’t that better?
7. Walking to the exam: BOB MARLEY
There’s nothing more you can do now, your time has come.
You don’t want to listen to any more scary music, you just want the one comfort song that assures you that every little ting is gunna be alright.
Whatever your favourite song is, no matter how cringey, listen to it before the exam. Bet you get a first.