Geordie Shame

Londoners are 43% more likely to make it to Uni than those from the North-East…


According to a new study by the Higher Education Funding Council, those from London and the South East are a whopping 43% more likely to make it into unay than their brown ale-drinking, gravy-smothering Geordie peers.

The total amount of youngsters attending universities or colleges rose by 8% in the last ten years, presumably because more people have cottoned on to the fact that degrees like Golf Management studies are just elaborate terms for a 3 year bender.

Seminar 4, Clothing: When in doubt, cheque it out

Seminar 4: Clothing; When in doubt, cheque it out

Surprisingly, the only area above the Watford Gap to make the top ten for participation was Sheffield Hallam, the constituency of student betrayer Nick Clegg, where 63% of young people make it to uni.

The highest overall score belongs to the Rah-dense suburb of Wimbledon, with 68% of school leavers making it into university. Probably because their daddies can get enough Centre-court tickets  for every admissions tutor in the Russell Group.

Daddy said if I let Andy Murray serve at me, I can get a pony at Sutton Bonington

Daddy said if I let Andy Murray serve at me, I can get a pony at Sutton Bonington

The report also found “many areas where young people are least likely to go into higher education can be found… in former industrial towns in the Midlands and the North.”

It appears that this divide in uni participation has reinvigorated the bitter North-South rivalry: