EXCLUSIVE: Fresher Terror As UK’s Deadliest Spider Spotted In Halls

Brave fresher Elliot Burton confronted the eight legged monster…


Nottingham Freshers have been left in a state of fear after the UK’s most venomous spider was spotted in Derby Hall.

The false widow spider, which has been spreading north in recent weeks, has finally arrived in Nottingham and has already infiltrated the University campus.

Derby Fresher Elliot Burton was left terrified one fateful evening when he stumbled upon the anarchic arachnid in the corner of his room.

Despite his early scepticism, he became “positive” that it was indeed a false widow after bravely analysing the pattern on its back.

"I made the decision that it needed to die"

“I made the decision that it needed to die”

“I put it under a glass and checked Google images. It looked the same and had the same pattern on its back. It had like a bean shaped bum as well.”

“I then took it outside and made the decision that it needed to die. Otherwise, it could have bred more false widows.”

“So we killed it.”

“I dropped it on the floor outside and my mate Eden stamped on it. I hate spiders.”

Elliot Burton and Eden Musyoki... what brave warriors

Elliot Burton and Eden Musyoki… what fearless freshers

The Tab recommends we all follow in Elliot’s courageous journey to rid Nottingham of this devilish beast.

Although this is the first sighting of the false widow on campus, it was also discovered in a Nottingham shed a few days ago:

false widow

Run for your lives

Meanwhile, a couple in the Nottingham suburb of Gedling have already felt the effects of the 8-legged advance, suffering bites that caused “swelling, itchy lumps and soreness”, similar symptoms to those that you might expect to receive after an Ocean one night stand.

NTU entomologist Dr. Christopher Terrell-Nield said: “They started moving quite suddenly. It is probably a combination of factors. These spiders like warm places, central heating may play its part.”

What do you think? Have you seen any false widows? Let us know in the comments section below.