The Tab Tries Pole Dance Soc

We try out moves such as ‘Wet Noodle’ and ‘The Showgirl’…


It was with a mixture of apprehension and excitement that I waited nervously to meet fellow Pole Dance newbies for a ‘taster session.’

With pole dancing carrying a rather falsely accused bad reputation and Student Unions like Swansea banning their Pole Fitness society this academic year,  I wondered what all the fuss was about.

Somewhere in Lace Market, I was ushered through a seemingly ordinary looking black door.

To all future Pole Dance hopefuls beware; the dance studio is up a thousand zillion flights of funky red stairs. Warm up sorted.

No going back now...

No going back now…

But don’t let the massive staircase put you off, if you survive the climb you will be greeted by a team of super lovely Pole Soc people who will for a pittance of only £4 per session (discounted for members) grant you entry to their rather snazzy studio.

Sheepishly peering around the forest of poles, I was faced with the most flexible, talented pole people I have ever seen –  they’re just so damn bendy.

Goal for the day. Piece of piss.

Goal for the day. Piece of piss.

I was then given a slightly ominous looking form which cheerfully listed loads of health and safety stuff about not dying and such.

After texting my mum a final goodbye I signed my life away to Pole Soc.

P1010850 (480x640)

I asked some of the more experienced pole dancers to strut their stuff and upon watching their ridiculously stretchy, magical bodies, I  began to seriously doubt my abilities as a future pole dancer…

Looks comfy.

Looks comfy.

Inspired by these impressive contortions, I was ready to Pole Dance up a storm. However, before I was let loose on the poles we did a quick warm up which made me feel a bit like I was part of the cast of Fame.

CALL ON MEEEEE!

CALL ON MEEEEE!

Post warm up, I was raring to leap on a pole, any pole, thighs first. Just as the anticipation was killing me, we learnt our first move; ‘The Layback’.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t quite a natural.  Practising pole dancing on the 34 to uni had not prepared me for this.

What ensued can only be described a fit of hysteria in which I hugged my pole dancing instructor and proclaimed ‘But I have no hips!’ Swiftly moving on…

Clinging on for dear life...

Clinging on for dear life…

Eager to match up to my Pole dancing idol (the instructor, AKA Spiderman), I decided to master a move called ‘Wet Noodle’. Sounds hot.

Bitch, I'm faaaaabulous!

Bitch, I’m faaaaabulous!

Finally I was on a roll, by which I mean I hadn’t hugged anyone in a solid quarter of an hour.

Then, we were faced with  ‘The Showgirl’ – a maneuver that oozed sensuality and seduction, as evidenced by the picture below.

Bringing sexy back.

Bringing sexy back.

After a couple minutes I got so good, I decided it was time to get out the 7 inchers. I ain’t afraid no pole.

'Me' in action!

‘Me’ in action!

After an hour of the best work out I’d had in 19 years, and trying my hand at 5 pole moves it was time to bid farewell to my pole dancing haven and go home.

My heart was thudding, my knees felt weak and my palms were red, but I was buzzing with pole-induced glory.

Just look at those scarlet fingertips!

Just look at those scarlet fingertips!

The Verdict

Pole is a wicked way to get your body moving whilst looking like an acrobatic she-goddess, even if dancing isn’t really your bag it’s great for getting fit a bod and meeting lovely bendy people. I definitely feel as if my upper body strength as improved by at least 0.5%.  It’s a big old yes from us!

If you are interested in joining Pole Dance Society, membership is only £5 which includes discounted classes and loyalty card that lets you have your 6th lesson for free! 

Part of a society you’d like us to try? Email [email protected] with your contact details and reasons why you think your society should be tried!