The Tab Tries: Online Dating

The Tab bravely enters the affray of online dating.


With claims like this:

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And endorsements like this:

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the world of serious investigative journalism required that one soldier of the truth stepped above the parapet.

That soldier is The Tab. For your gain, and the world’s attention, The Tab tries OkCupid and the world of free online dating.

First step, make a profile.

With our generation of men consistently subjected to criticism for it’s addiction to pornography and misogynistic ‘lad culture’, it seemed only fair to allow that generation a chance to prove otherwise.

It did not.

The profile needed to be physically attractive:

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But highly unintelligent and exceptionally strange:

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And within twenty minutes of being published, ‘Boobatron’ was disconcertingly popular, given that she is a complete idiot.

Unleashed, The Tab’s Frankenstein with its push-up bra and dichotomous personality, wreaked chaos on the hearts of online men.

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Determined, one message wasn’t enough for this gentleman:

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Obvs, he was wrong too.

Some, took a more simplistic approach:

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Whilst some opted for a more controversial tactic:

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Boobatron was eventually offered a threesome by this charming sir:

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Oh.

But, Boobatron wasn’t loved by all.

Personality and intelligence, it seems, are of relevance to some men:

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The disappointment is evident.

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Although, Boobatron couldn’t help but throw this gentleman a curve ball:

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Boobatron was consequently shut down from the world of online dating, too dangerous for the hearts and minds of an international community to remain in existence.

Besides, such a huge commitment to the rights of a non-existent race is highly time consuming.

The results?

Largely, as long as you’ve got tits, nothing else matters.