How To Do The Nottingham Goose Fair

Considering the Nottingham Goose Fair is over 700 years old, The Tab thought it was about time we checked it out. Two bags of candy floss, a bowl of mushy peas and lots spinning around later, we’ve got a lot of sugar-driven enthusiasm about the whole thing. So, if you haven’t been, here’s our slightly light-headed advice on making the most out of one of Nottingham’s favourite events…

Wear wellies

The recent wet weather has turned the Forest recreation ground into a small mud bath. Not only will you be squelching your way past the fantastically named ‘Roller Ghoster’, you will also be dodging all the ketchup, mushy peas and mayonnaise which flies towards you as hundreds of buzzed kids sprint past. The Tab couldn’t do it.

Hoping that’s mayo…

Be careful walking through Radford

The BBC weren’t joking around when they called Radford the ‘Dark Side of Nottingham’. Unfortunately for you, fearful student, you have to brave it to get to the Goose Fair. The police presence on every corner confirm that it’s not the nicest part of the city, so The Tab wouldn’t recommend strolling through it with your latest iPhone 5 on show.

Freak out on the Ghost Train

Don’t be fooled by the laughing five year-olds and funky 60s swing music. The Ghost Train can be an ordeal and you shouldn’t be ashamed if you leave it mid heart-attack and crying.

Face your fears. And not just in Radford

Win yourself an inappropriately big cuddly toy

What better way to impress a love interest than romantically hooking a duck, hoopla-ing a bottle or mercilessly slam-dunking a basket past a bewildered fifty year-old? As with all good fairs, the big prizes are really, really big. If you back yourself to carry a life-size toy Aslan all the way back to Lenton, then the Goose Fair stalls were made for you.

Let out some aggression on the dodgems, throw up on the Waltzers and stumble through the House of Mirrors

Alternatively, you can alienate a potential love interest by giving them minor neck injuries on the dodgems. Or you can out-macho your alpha-pals by seeing who can last the longest on the spinning vomit machine that is the Waltzers. For ladies of a more elegant persuasion, the House of Mirrors is equally fun, but at lot less nauseating.

Great puns

Eat candy floss, burgers and try mushy peas with mint sauce

If you’re going to eat anything, it has to be Nottingham’s traditional ‘delicacy’ of mushy peas and mint sauce. Try it once and decide for yourselves…

Mmmm…

Re-enact Grease in one of the crazy houses

[youtube]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PKX9J2ENXTs[/youtube]

Go on. You know you’ve always fancied yourself as a bit of a John Travolta.

Take in the panoramic views on the top of the Ferris Wheel

It is really really high. Feel free to spin the carriage for added drama. Lovely view from the top, though. The Tab recommends taking the Ferris Wheel at night so you can see all the lights and action down below.

Scenic

Rides can be pretty pricey

Pack your student loan. From £2 for the ghost train all the way to a huge £5 for the Ferris wheel, make sure you print off some discount vouchers before you go. Or splash the cash and deal with it later.