Lenting my Frustration: I can McKenna you quit.

Can the hypnotist work his magic on this poor soul?

35 days, 840 hours and 20 pints of Lucozade.

I feel now like the worse part is over; the initial horror of no longer having Diet Coke has worn off and has now been replaced by a dull ache which includes counting down the days and ignoring any possible temptations.

Going cold turkey has been a shock to certain people in my life; mainly my family. Of course the majority of my torture – disguised as “Lent” – has occurred over term. My mum doesn’t believe I haven’t had a single drop.

Truth is, the rest of my family are as bad as me. I can guarantee when I return home next week there will be several crates of the good stuff stacked up. The access will be easy, like living in a crack den.

Resistance has been fairly easy up until this point; lack of money, not selling it in the library, supportive friends but what if I suddenly go down hill at the last hurdle?! Who can I turn to in this new desperate hour of need?

Paul Fucking McKenna.

I thought I might have to buy one of his scary hypnotic tapes to put on my iPod or something but turns out his has a handy little website where all your problems are neatly categorised. Funnily enough there isn’t a Diet Coke tab so I’m going to go for his general tips.

1. “Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps”

Well that would kind of defeat the object of Lent now wouldn’t it? According to some people ‘Sunday’s don’t count’ which I think is bollocks. If I’m going to do this I’m doing it properly. No to this one Paul.

2. “Evaluate why you’ve made certain choices in the past and see if they’re still the right thing for you.”

Err.. This is a dangerous area… so this is me when I’ve made the choice of Diet Coke:

You get the idea. Well played, Paul.

3. “Do some kind of physical exercise preferably in natural green surroundings , every day.”

Cool, I’ll walk to Uni tomorrow. Done.

4. “Make sure you laugh once a day.” 

Has anyone ever seen Paul McKenna laugh? Hypocritical bastard.

5. “Stick coloured dots all over your house- on the bed, on the fridge, on the remote control… Every time you spot a dot, think a positive thought, perhaps everyone who loves you, where you’d like to go on holiday or simply how lovely the sky looks, which will force your brain to connect with happy feelings rather than your addiction.”


Whilst I don’t really feel hypnotised, I think Paul has taught me to be more positive about the whole situation. THERE’S ONLY A WEEK LEFT. Stay tuned to see my joyful reunion with my precious Diet Coke.