IMS round-up: Shattered Dreams and Broken Hearts

You thought we were angry last week…


It wasn’t meant to end like this.

After minimal rain and relative warmth, halls and societies across Nottingham were preparing for their IMS swansong, as the season drew to a close last weekend. For some, it was to be their final trip to the hallowed Grove Farm turf.

Tears have been shed, bones have been shattered, screamers have been scored, friendships have been forged, puns have been made.

What a year; what a season.

The scene had been set for a dramatic conclusion to the IMS football leagues…until the Intra-Mural HQ ruthlessly flushed everyone’s dreams down the shit-stained Grove Farm toilets.

9th March, 15:57. The news came in. All games apart from Saturday Division 2 had been brutally stricken from the record.

The moment the dream became a nightmare

The IMS organisation has broken hearts which can’t be mended. For the veteran teams ready for their last hurrah, like MedSoc, this will be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Investigative Tab Sports TeamTM were dubious, so we sent out an undercover pitch inspector; the results are shocking.

‘WATERLOGGED?!’ You Havana laugh?

Mercifully, IMS did grant us Grove Farm fanatics a few games, allowing six teams to fully enjoy the culmination of their Nottingham football careers.

For Archaeology, in particular, this weekend was special: since there will be no one around to run the team next year, it was the society’s last ever game. They did, however, make the most of this emotional occasion and unearthed their finest fancy dress.

Among their ranks was a portly Marouane Fellaini, a crippled André Villas-Boas, a Morphsuit and the disturbing sight of a German in a dress.

With the score-line as outlandish as their outfits, Archaeology dug deep against ChemSoc and recovered from a two-goal deficit to eventually draw the game 3-3. The comeback began as the Archaeologists buried an inswinging corner, but their joy was not to last.

ChemSoc’s second goal, a typically controversial Grove Farm refereeing decision gave the Chemists an undeserved lead. A stunning comeback meant ArchSoc lead 3-2 but poor defending allowed the opposition to level the tie and sent Archaeology to their ruin.

Elsewhere, MedicsSoc failed to patch up their weak defence as PoliticsSoc dissected their backline with Liberal ease and scored at free will. Although the Politicians Laboured down the left-wing, their right-wing attacks were anything but Conservative, with the majority of their chances being created down this flank.

A 0-0 draw with MathSoc was not what the doctor ordered for PharmSoc as they saw their title hopes expire. With zero goals scored, the Mathematicians will simultaneously take neither positives nor negatives from this balanced result.

As ever, The Tab Sports Team™ will be the first to bring all the latest IMS news. If you have any stories or quotes from IMS you wish to share, email us at Splash Select[email protected].

A list of all the weekend’s football results can be found below:

Football Saturday Div. 2

PoliticsSoc 5-0 MedicsSoc

PharmSoc 0-0 MathSoc

Archaeology 3-3 ChemSoc