Lenting My Frustration: 7 Alternatives

I’ve gone 28 days without any Diet Coke and I think I’m handling it pretty well. But just hypothetically, let’s say I was really craving some sort of carbonated beverage […]


I’ve gone 28 days without any Diet Coke and I think I’m handling it pretty well.

But just hypothetically, let’s say I was really craving some sort of carbonated beverage that had plenty of caffeine in it, comes in a can and is ludicrously bad for you. What do I turn to? This week I’ve decided to test the alternatives:

1. Red Bull

Red Bull is one of those drinks that mysteriously has no flavour assigned to it; it’s just ‘You’re-going-to-be-really-hyper’ flavoured. It gives a good kick but also tastes a bit like acidic sherbet and made the world look like this:

Crossing off the list.

2. Lucozade

This makes me feel sporty. And active. But I don’t do any sports so I feel like a tosser drinking it.

3. Lipton Iced Tea

What a joke. Who wants cold tea? This just tastes like a flat cocktail that someone has minesweept in a bar. Never again.

4. Pepsi

Where do I begin? Even the logo annoys me; it looks like toothpaste. People that don’t understand the difference between Pepsi and Coke you clearly have something wrong with you and should consider being seen by a specialist.

5. Rubicon Guava

“Real” fruit! This is practically healthy. Packed with all kinds of sugary goodness as well. A good alternative but hard to find…

6. Coffee

My old friend, you have saved me in many situations in the past. But this is a hole you can not fill.

7. Water

“What a day! I am dying for a large glass of water.” said no student ever.

Judging by these, the future is bleak. But perhaps I’ve missed a golden gem that can satisfy my neurotic beverage needs? I am desperate for suggestions… and make them fast, my patience is waning!

Next week: The Temptations: Mirages and Meanders.