IMS round-up: Shock leader in title chase

Flawed points system results in unfancied ‘No Game’ topping Saturday Division

First, they waited until March to number the countless Grove Farm pitches.

Then, this one time, we only got two pegs to pin down our nets.

For all this, we could forgive the Inter-Mural Sport organisation. However, they have now taken it one step too far. In response to this, we feel it’s time to take THEM down a peg or two.

The lazy IMS admin team have failed to spot this travesty, scarring the previously unblemished name of Division 3 Grove Farm football.

How did this farce occur, we hear you scream? Well, for some reason, those tyrants at IMS HQ decided that every team should be awarded a point for just turning up.

Therefore, despite not even existing, No Game FC have stormed to the top of the table, picking up an absurd 14 points from seven ‘draws’. Heaven knows what poor, victimised Natural ScienceSoc think.

Despite our indignation and unrelenting rage, we will do our best to give you your weekly pun-fest…

In the biggest historical shock since Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s assassination, an energetic PhysicsSoc triumphed 1-0 over a previously unbeaten HistorySoc. The table-topping Historians scored absolute zero against the Scientists and are now Stalin in their title charge.

We can’t work out what’s more shocking: History losing or Franz’s ‘tache

PostGrads clearly took their meds ahead of the big clash with Law Soc, winning 6-0. The Lawyers put up a poor defence, so now desperately need a win in their final game of the season to bail them out of trouble.

PoliticsSoc will be delighted after a landslide victory over a negative MathsSoc outfit, who will simply be counting their blessings that the margin of victory was not higher.

The Politicians’ win will have major ramifications for the rest of the league, as their rise to second place has got ArchitectureSoc Exchequing over their shoulders.

Architecture’s own carefully constructed strike-force tore down ChemSoc’s reactionary back-line in an unbalanced game. Although the Chemists’ attacking players bonded well, the alka-line was drawn at four goals, leaving the score at 5-4.

As ever, The Tab Sports Team™ will be the first to bring all the latest IMS news. If you have any stories or quotes from IMS you wish to share, email us at [email protected].

A list of all the weekend’s football results can be found below:

Football Saturday Div. 1

Afro/CaribbeanSoc 5-0 Christian Union

PhysicsSoc 1-0 HistorySoc

PGSA 6-0 LawSoc

ChemEngSoc 0-2 Raleigh Park

Football Saturday Div. 2

MathSoc A 2-3 PoliticsSoc

ChemSoc 4-5 Architecture

Football Saturday Div. 3

PS KARPATY 3-1 Natural Science

Football Sunday Div. 1

GeogSoc 0-2 St. Peter’s

CypriotSoc 3-2 CivSoc

LawSoc 2-0 MechSoc

Football Sunday Div. 2

English 2-0 JewishSoc

Neuroscience 2-1 FAGs

BioSoc 0-1 HistorySoc

Football Sunday Div. 3


PhysioSoc vs Raleigh Park WALKOVER TO PHYSIOSOC