How to be a dick on Facebook

They’re back… Love them or hate them, this is what annoys Ebony & Ivory on Facebook

This article is a topic that is very close to our hearts. We get very confused about what goes through people’s heads when they post certain things on Facebook. Here are the 10 most annoying things…

10. Posting albums of you and your friends from your Macbook making stupid faces with stupid special effects. It gets a bit old after the 15th album and it clogs up our newsfeed. How are we meant to see your hilariously witty status updates now?

9. People who upload pictures with the caption ‘new hair’, when it’s actually of them posing in a dirty mirror, boobs out and no change in hair style at all.

8.  What are all these spam games that keep popping up in our notifications? WTF is Bubble Witch and why am I getting invites for it every 2 days?

7.  Frapes. We’re sure we aren’t the only ones who are ridiculously bored of the classic ‘birthday frape’ or gender change. Keep frapes original, please.

6. ‘Like my status and I’ll rate you out of 10’. Who invented this and why is it still alive? People need to shut this down immediately.

5. Uploading the same picture with 10 different filter settings. Oh my gosh, your face does look really different in Sepia, though…

4.  Adds from people from Bulgaria: how did you find me? Ahmed Patel from  Pakistan: how did you find me? Ikechukwu Adiele from Nigeria: HOW DID YOU FIND ME?

3. Overly emotional people on Facebook: buy a diary. Or, alternatively, here’s the number for Nottingham Nightline: 0115 9514985.

2. Now we’re at university, we’re at that age that some of the “rebels” from school got themselves pregnant. We called it. We understand that they’re at home all day, but why do they need to pollute OUR Newsfeeds with pictures of their scary looking baby every hour?? Oh my gosh, we get it! You were pregnant and you had a baby, well fucking done.

1. For us, this is THE most annoying thing on Facebook and why we now prefer Twitter: COUPLES. Wow, you’ve been together for 2 months? That doesn’t mean we need to see pictures of you making heart signs with your hands in front of a sunset. Do you need to like every single photo of each other? Keep your love quotes to yourself. Shit, you went to Bournemouth on holiday together, please continue to post endless albums of you two standing in fields, otherwise we don’t think we can go on in life.

So, those are our ten most annoying things on Facebook. If you can think of any more please do feel free to comment with them!

Ebony & Ivory xxx

Also, if you have any ideas of topics you would like to see Ebony & Ivory bitch about, please feel free to email the Features Editors which you can find on the website.