Fifty Shades of Notts

Should we let that wild kinky side go and reveal our inner ‘Mr Grey’, or refrain and keep things a little cleaner?

This summer Fifty Shades of Grey burst onto the scene and brought about a dramatic change in the boundaries of what’s acceptable (or desired) in the bedroom.

Bursting out of the bedroom came everyone’s deepest,darkest desires and fantasies. For some strange reason, we all just sat there and allowed ourselves to be tied up and dominated in the bedroom, in order to mimic the protagonists.

So The Tab digs into ‘Fifty shades of Nottingham’ and asks what REALLY is acceptable in the bedroom? Should we let that wild kinky side go and reveal our inner ‘Mr Grey’, or is it best to refrain and keep things a little cleaner?


We constantly hear of people using the odd item or exotic setting in an attempt to spice up their love lives. The scandalous stories we hear are amusing admittedly, but can they really be justified?

Should we release our inner Christian Grey?

Our sex lives have become less about self-respect and enjoyment, and more of a competition to see who can have the most grass stains, or notches on their bedpost.

Recently, I heard of two people sleeping with the same girl only a few hours apart. Admittedly, my first reaction was to laugh and enjoy the weird sex-crazed university world that I live in. However, I then started to think about how truly disgusting this was after contemplating the grim details. Surely this is a step too far?

This led me to think about my last few years at Nottingham, and consider those extreme stories no doubt we’ve all heard. From people having to change their bed sheets after a mishap, right through to getting frisky in the exotic setting of the piano in the music hall. Granted, we are at university but under no circumstances is it ever acceptable to slip a hand on the dance floor of Ocean and come out with suspect stains, or disappear under the desk during a lecture.

I’m all for mixing it up, as we all want to enjoy sex. But no one wants to be the story that a group of guys are laughing over, no one really wants to be a joke. Is there anything wrong with the fact that I don’t want to be someone slates ‘sex toy’ story and I have the desire to not leave my dignity somewhere across Lenton?


Imagine if the only sexual experience that we would consider a milestone is the loss of your virginity. With that mindset, you have no motivation to keep your sex life exciting. Before you know it, your libido would be like a deflated balloon and the biggest rush you’d get in life would be from watching Bargain Hunt on a Sunday afternoon.

Some of you, I’m sure, will find the idea of being spanked with a cane with a gag in your mouth one of the least sexy acts you could possibly imagine. But ask yourself, when is the last time you experienced something unfamiliar, but enjoyable, during sex? Where you experimented and tried something out of your comfort zone?

If the answer to your something unfamiliar is ‘my first orgasm’, you need get out there and start shagging like you mean it. Stop wasting the utensils that could be the possible be provider of infinite amounts of ecstasy. Be creative.

You may deem the couples that have sex in Ocean to be disgusting, the stories of threesomes that hover around campus may cause you to cringe and the conversation of how certain girls get themselves around may make you sneer.

But those brave people, who are not afraid of being judged or put off by gossip and whispers,  will for those few moments feel more alive than a hamster tied to a rocket. As students, we get at least three years to abandon our dignity and attempt stuff that we will never do again once we graduate and become respectful members of society. It’s our chance to be as carefree and experimental as we can, whilst we can still get away with it.

Basically, students should get like randy ducks and dip their toes in as many ponds as they can. There’s only one life boys and girls, you might as well try it.