What does your UNIO seasonal special say about you?
Are you more Jolly Gingerbread or Praline Truffle?
It's that magical time of the year again, when the masterminds behind UNIO get together and create a series of original and inventive winter warmers for their menu, hoping to inspire the cold and bitter students that inhabit UEA come Christmastime.
You may think that nipping up to the counter between lectures and requesting whichever hot drink takes your fancy is a simple endeavour, but we're here to inform you your UNIO Christmas cocoa is loaded with implications.
Want to know what your order of choice says about you? Simply read on.
'A toffee nut latte topped with whipped cream and toffee shards'
If you ordered the Nutcracker there is a 206% chance that your motto in life is 'The Grind Never Stops'. You noticed UNIO had chucked out some fun new drinkies, but you're far too busy getting this bread to notice. You either study Law or Medicine, and at best you picked this up in the hope that the combo of high sugar and caffeine might make you hate yourself less as you spend your entire day in the library whilst your mates studying Literature are still in bed.
'A gingerbread latte topped with whipped cream and a ginger biscuit'
In case you haven't already noticed, literally everyone wants you around all the time, especially this time of year. If the Jolly Gingerbread is your order, you're a true extrovert and the life of the party. You probably study Business Management but let's face it, you came to uni for the sesh and not the degree. I'd should advise you to get to work rather than reading this article, but you're so much fun in the festive season, you deserve to know how deeply enjoyed your antics are.
'A luxury praline hot chocolate topped with cream and chocolate pieces'
Hello high maintenance! If Praline Truffle was your seasonal order, I'm inclined to say you're a classy bitch who isn't about to compromise on style in the name of a student budget. You probably study Politics or IR, and reckon you're going to change the political game even though you love Boris Johnson. I imagine you've noticed some students around you are shivering a little in these colder months, but you can't really relate as your Caribou-fur (not faux) coat from Canada Goose tends to keep you cosy.
I imagine you were excited to see a seasonal special that finally caters to your interests: the gourmet.
White Chocolate Crème Brûlée
'A white hot chocolate topped with whipped cream and white chocolate pieces'
Okay, how can I put this…you're kind of vanilla as hell? When people first meet you they probably think you're nice, pretty normal, pleasant enough to look at. You probably study Geography and wear Nike Airforce, a bit basic but not necessarily dull. But as they come to know you better, they will begin to realise knowing you less well is a far superior position to be in, as your inner self is comparable to soggy cardboard. In fact, your blandness may even make them wonder if you're a serial killer who's really perfected the normal act. My advice? Invest in a lawyer. Before it's too late.