All the CV worthy skills you will acquire in the LCR
You’re in the LCR again, and, much like with childbirth, you’ve forgotten the pain of the last time you ventured out into its hallowed halls (mostly because you were drunk and the alcohol killed off a few of those brain cells – who needs ‘em anyway!). Rob is throwing up in the bathroom again, Katy has disappeared (what’s new), you’ve lost your campus card (for the 800th time), and your mate Jack is sucking some girl's face off in a bid to achieve the 5 Ls before you all graduate in July.
Trips to the LCR can be a mess, and let’s face it, you need a very particular set of skills to get you through them; after all of those wild nights you have to have gained something, right? Here are some CV worthy attributes you’ve probably acquired in your time gracing the Lower Common Room:
If you’ve been to the LCR, you’ve probably mastered your negotiation face. Whether it be negotiating your way through a crowd of angry dancers (more like will-fully ignoring), or being the head contractor in a cigarette exchange with your ‘new friend who you’ll never see again’ in the smoking area, the art of persuasion has been practised. You might even manage to barter your way into a new pair of sunglasses or, you know, forcefully borrow them.
Ok, so the only bit of first aid you know might be from ‘The Office’ scene where Michael does CPR to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ (that counts, right?), but you can handle a standard LCR injury, can’t you? You know how to help if your friend gets hit in the head with a VK bottle: throw it back to sender, yeah? Eh, probably NOT the best idea. And you know what the drill is if your friend feels sick – I’ll be there to hold the hair.
Keeping the gang together can only be described as some type of strange herding activity (you know, if sheep could use Facebook Messenger). There’s at least one point in your night where you’ve received the ‘we’re in the smoking area’ text or ‘blue bar’ or ‘by the stafrtty’ (translation ‘by the stage’). Sometimes you have to accept that keeping the band together is not going to be easy, especially with VK in the mix (the LCR's Yoko equivalent), but that’s life. One of you might have to walk home. One of you might end up asleep in the bathroom until James the security guard comes to clear you out.
You’ve probably taken some pretttty good mirror selfies in your day. And some nice professional photos on the dance floor too (they’re not blurry, it’s just the lighting!).
The suspense: will they let you in? Won’t they? Can you pull it off? You’ve got to put on your most Oscar worthy performance to convince the security guards that yes, you are sober enough to enter the LCR, and no, you do not need to go home and drink a gallon of water. I don’t drink (yes, pause at the irony of this post), but I can still appreciate the ability of my very drunk friends to get into Damn Good with their ‘CAMPUS CARDS AND ID PLEASE’; I’m telling you, we’ve got some Meryl Streeps amongst us.
The ability to get out of sticky situations
It’s happened to the best of us. You’re dancing innocently, doing the booty drop to ‘Apple Bottom Jeans’, and suddenly, your foot gets stuck to the floor. If you are wearing some trainers (the one’s you keep specifically for the LCR), good for you, but if you have gone for the ballet shoes ladies, it’s all down-hill from there.
Your foot leaves the shoe, which has now secured itself to the floors of the underworld. Your toes linger in the air for a second then frantically try to find their way back into your ballets, the prospect of having to scrub them with disinfectant looming over you. That floor is a landmine freshers! There’s a reason the LCR is so dark – so you can’t see it! The bravery it takes to navigate the sticky underbelly of this late night venue is not to be undermined. My advice: don’t look down and keep dancing
Attention to detail
You have to have hawk-eyes in the LCR. Your friend you lost 20 minutes ago? Need to be able to spot her. A space on the dance floor? Got to keep an eye out for that. Mum? Wait what’s mum doing here!?
You’ve got to be willing to take one for the team, whether that’s holding a VK bottle, or holding your friend’s hoops when she gets into a fight (I watch too much TV).
LCR nights are all about team playing, team communication and a team Dominoes order at the end of the night. Also, please stop Stacey from drunk-texting her ex again.
Disclaimer: I know it’s tempting, but please don’t use any of these experiences in your job interviews. The Tab does not want to be held accountable for more student unemployment.