I’m sorry, but I just don’t ‘get’ the LCR

It’s cheap, but it’s shit

The LCR is a defining feature of most UEA student’s lives. If you’ve not been, which is VERY unlikely, it’s guaranteed that you still know exactly what goes on there from your friends and housemates constantly talking about their nights’ antics.

Most probably, these will consist of people falling down the stairs to Blue Bar, some nutter strawpedo-ing four VKs in one go, or someone getting breathalysed on the way in. Legendary.

I just don’t understand it. Admittedly, in first year it was amazing. With your limited nightclub knowledge or experience, it quickly became the epitome of a sick student night out. It was easy to get to, cheap as chips, and you would really bond with that girl you saw in your lecture that one time in week three over the hand dryers in the toilets after losing all your friends.

But now, being a boring second (or third) year has kicked in significantly. The upstairs room is still playing the same songs and nothing new or exciting ever seems to happen. The only real thing that changes are the ticket prices every now and then along with the Union’s standard levels of disgusting inflation.

Blue Bar is teeming with sports lads who think they’re Skepta’s hypeman, and the Hive is just the. Weirdest. Thing.

In the history of the Nick Rayns Lower Common Room, no one, ever, has said “yeah, let’s go dance in the hive.” Everyone saunters and sways around in circles, not quite knowing whether they should be dancing or just making their way downstairs. One second year simply states, “it’s awkward in there isn’t it, even when you’re drunk, it’s just awkward.”

What’s going on???

Even as a venue, the LCR is lacking. It’s almost too big. When you’re trying to get your boogie on at the likes of Bassjam, Tropico, or (God forbid) Pam’s House, you’re too busy trying to make your way through the crowds to even dance. Instead, you’re left doing an awkward side step, left to right, as you try to dodge violent individuals barging their way through the crowds into the dance pit.

In its defence, it’s the easiest night out to do. You could be lounging around in your PJs at 10 pm, decide you do want to go out by half past  and still be absolutely smashed on your way there within the next hour. You’ll never really lose your friends too, even if you haven’t seen them all night, you can guarantee that by the time the lights have come up and you’re standing out in the cold they’ll be sure to rock up.

But does that really outweigh the fact that the LCR is a glorified school disco, with the same level of awkwardness, where most of the boys are probably still tempted to slide around the floor on their knees in one last bid to impress the ladies? Or the fact it’s probably the only place in the country (apart from karaoke bars)  that puts the lyrics up to the songs playing on big screens and where it’s not social suicide to drink alcopops? No. I’ll find cheap drinks somewhere else thank you.