Student meals are the worst thing about uni

Student food is about as low as it can go. Sure, we all have money when it comes to going out. We all pull the “I’m too into my overdraft to spend a penny”, but then when the LCR night comes around, we are suddenly splashing out on 10 VKs and 20 tequila shots. This leaves the unsolved problem of feeding ourselves when we are desperately scrambling for the dusty pennies beneath our beds.

In result, the common answer to our prayers remains to be cans. More specifically, Aldi cans. It’s unmistakably cheap, and best of all, it’s easy. All it takes is emptying and maybe a microwave, which most of us can manage, to some extent.

Of course, the struggles of student meals do not just revolve around money, they also revolve around time. We can simply find ourselves too busy between living for the sesh, studying and napping to cook a Sunday roast or curry. So cans strike once again as the answer – not to mention ready meals and frozen food. However, this student did attempt the long mythicised ‘home meal’, only to watch it fall to the floor and become reduced to nothing more than a mere splatter. A tragic occurrence for any ambitious culinary student.

Unfortunately, there is more to consider than just money and time when it comes to food. Another factor is skill. Many of us are used to our parents magically providing meals in front of our eyes, and we often fail to consider how this was crafted. Consequently, we are often left with over-boiled rice stuck to the bottom of our pans, uncooked chicken nuggets, and a weird looking egg which isn’t quite fried or scrambled. Positive thinking at all times though, this is all just a learning curve and practise makes perfect! However, when I heard my friend had tried to defrost her bagel on her bedroom radiator I started to doubt…

But once we students master the challenges of cost, time, and skill, and find ourselves with the perfect meal, we must savour our creations, even protecting them from other hungry flatmates. As you can see in the photo above, one student took this to a whole new level. In drunk paranoia she hid her midnight snack in her desk drawer before going to bed. Needless to say, she found herself to regret that decision in the morning.

So, on that note, good luck to any student ongoing in the struggle of culinary disaster or practicalities. Regardless, the love-hate relationship between students and food continues.