Why the LCR is the best nightclub in Norwich

LCR is love, LCR is life


Last week, I wandered across a spiritually lost fresher stumbling from the LCR muttering: “It’s fucking shit, I can’t be asked with this place.” It was only 11 PM, prime time to be heading off to the on-campus piss-up-parlour, and he was already going home.

My upset at seeing this lost sheep’s distress was something that I could not tolerate and so consequently was forced to take him to the side and give him a talking to. I, already very drunk, said, “YES, they may play S-club, and Avril Lavigne, but it is still the best club ever. You can go to XOYO in London, or Patterns in Brighton, or clubbing fucking anywhere in Manchester, BUT, it can never have the LCR’s associations of happy memories, and the people there”. It is the people there that make it, the silly costumes, the drunken messes, and chatting codshit in the cage which is what makes it so good.

It does not matter what act is on stage when you have had 10 VKs and have lost the capacity to speak English; it is the perfect venue for relieving the tension of essays and exam stress, and the bouncers generally are not wankers (unless you acquire three bottles of sambuca from behind the bar).

Where else could you go on a social occasion, knowing that even if you getting absolutely wrecked someone will get you home, even if you are flailing in a bush covered in vomit. Prince of Wales clubbing is carried out on a street far away from the safety that is campus, and the purchasing of a post-club donna kebab/DFC Bucket, makes you a susceptible target to predatory muggers.

Also, horrifyingly, on Prince of Wales road, the police will pour out any pre-drinks you have into a bin in front of you, your dreams of economically getting smashed will disappear before your very eyes. Alternatively, queuing outside the LCR allows the easy-access consumption of the last dregs of beer, or the last painful sips of vodka all that much easier. Also the security does not pat you down upon entry, unlike clubbing in a lot of places in town, make of that what you will…

Where else could you have a haircut this bad and be loving life?

On top of this, you can be at the library getting all that coursework done at 11PM, and yet still have enough time to go out. Just get yourself down to the hatch, buy yourself a suitable spirit, and sip it efficiently as possible in the queue. While some may complain at having to wait in the cold, the length of the queue is a massive advantage, because it allows the chance, for not only sparkling conversation, but also to really maximise the amount of alcohol you can consume before entering the divine place.

The more ridiculous you look, the better.

But most importantly, it’s not really about how wrecked you can get, you can do that in clubs in any town across the country. What makes this venue, is that whether you like House or Rock, all of your compatriots will be going there.

It’s not really about the music, it’s not about some mad laser display on stage, it’s not about crazy mosh pits, or taking ket. The LCR is about the people there.

It has the golden assurance that you will always bump into acquaintances you haven’t seen in a while that makes the LCR the best venue in the country. At the end of the day, it’s only other people that can generate the memories of happiness and fucked-up-ness that students always come to associate with this most sticky-floored of places.

You know its lit when your dressed as a Thunderbird and Paul Chuckle is on stage.

As a final point, I just wanted to say even the staff are lovely. Just today, the head of the SU had a meeting with me, warning me that if I get breathalysed again that I will be banned for my own safety. Only in the LCR are staff that conscientious. In other clubs they would just ban you for being a hideous mess, yet here you get the chance to redeem yourself.