What does your accommodation say about you?

Everybody comes to UEA an equal, yet every set of halls has its own distinct stereotypes. As the year winds on and we all slowly start to lose the individuality we came with and begin to blur into each other, your halls and the people you’ve spent the last year living with will eventually start to define you.

It may only be the beginning of the year but below is a detailed description of the person you will become approximately six months from now, categorised by your accommodation.

Britten House, Colman House and Paston House

Your rent is over £5,000 a year for fuck’s sake – you’re clearly a member of the aristocracy. You’re most likely from the home counties, your parents shop in Waitrose, and you study a humanities subject. Your pin-board is undoubtedly plastered with photos of your friends from home and the eventful summer you had after you finished your A-levels. Basically, you’re basic.

Not this kind of basic. If you live in the en-suite, you’ve probably never even tasted this

Browne House, Kett House and Victory House

Most people won’t know where your halls are, but you like to mingle amongst yourselves anyway. You’ll be pissed off if you get anything less than a first in the science subject you study, although you’re lucky to live close to the LCR. Just in case you fancy going once or twice this year.

Everyday is bleak when you live in these halls

Nelson Court 

Your rent is the same as the rest of the en-suite accommodation, yet you’re a completely different kettle of fish. You’re on a sports team, you dwell in blue bar on LCR nights, and it doesn’t really matter what you study because you always put your clubs and societies first anyway.

This was almost definitely taken at a sports social

Constable Terrace

You clearly have mad amounts of stamina, both to complete the walk from your halls to your lectures, and for the mental parties which go down in Constable. Nobody really knows where it is (campus security included), and you’d probably rather keep it that way in order to keep getting away with the mad shit you get up to.

Courtyard A & Courtyard B

You have a car park, an actual oven, an en-suite bathroom AND your rent is cheaper; you’re clearly clued up. This level of clued-up-ness means you’re probably already looking for grad schemes and work experience, but you’re still impartial to getting fucked up once in a blue moon.

Lower Village 

The same as above, with a slightly longer walk from campus and better building names (Pine, Hawthorne, and Elm, real original stuff). You know literally everybody living in the buildings adjacent to you and the LCR is your life, even though you couldn’t live further away from it.

Norfolk Terrace

You are the kings and queens of campus; when people think of UEA, they think of your building (even though they probably haven’t been inside). You don’t mind slumming it a bit, and the stairs down to your flat are genuinely lethal and a bit like that nightmarish scene in Titanic when the lower levels slowly start filling up with water, but you always have the best pre-drinks. Degree wise, you’ll do everything you can to get a 2:1, but when your halls are this sick, who really cares?

Suffolk Terrace

Let’s not lie now, you wish you could live in Norfolk Terrace and you go there at every given opportunity.

Hickling/Barton

You’re the first people to ever live here, and you’re paying £150 a week for the privilege. You don’t have a stereotype yet, but you will do when this article is rehashed for next years freshers, believe me.