What do your gym clothes say about you?
Don’t pretend these aren’t you
We all know choosing your gym clothes takes time and dedication. Which of these categories do you fall into (before you squat back up, of course)?
All black ensemble
You’ve colour coordinated your whole outfit because you might see that fit guy who was on the rowing machine last week. Everyone knows black is what you wear to look slimmer, but when you’ve got a banging bod already you can afford to dress up and see if you get asked out on a date. You’re probably one of those girls who wears makeup to the gym, barely works up a sweat, but manages to stay looking fitter than everyone else. We hate you.
Calf socks We get it, we really do. You’ve used the leg press machine and you’re on your fourth protein shake of the day. You’ve bought aged 9-10 socks to make your calfs look even bigger but you’re not ready for when they split because you’re such a gymer, not because you’re aged 22. You’re probably missing your lecture just to make sure you get your reps in, and no, Mike can’t jump in to interrupt your sets.
People who wear tank tops
Just go to the club already. You’re fit, and you make us feel shit because the only thing flatter than your stomach is the breadboard we use to make our cheese toasties.
Men who wear lycra
The side angle is not the one. You must be a masochist because seeing you on the bikes getting all squished looks very painful – but whatevz, at least the whole gym knows you’re 100 per cent male.
Jumper and shorts
You’ve taken up going to the gym as part of Lent, and you’re not sure whether you’re fully committed or not yet. You want to make sure you’re taking it casual, but you’re also prepared to get those gains so you go for a hybrid outfit. You wear a jumper to show you’re just playing it safe, you’re not intimidated by the men with their ‘suns out guns out’ tees – as long as you know you’ve got a rippling six pack under there that’s all that matters.
You rock up in your shorts because when you squat you want people to know your thigh game is strong, and if you do decide to use the treadmill, your jumper can function as a sweatband, too.
You’ve eaten your soya porridge for breakfast and you’re overheard telling everyone that you’ve got a Graze delivery box arriving at uni for your lunch. You need to pop to Unio later as the vegan cake they introduced last week is just to die for. Oh, wait, you’ve not even started exercising yet? You’ve been too busy telling people how much of a vegan you are and checking your breakfast’s Instagram likes that the hour’s up and it’s time for you to go and get that almond milk shake.
You’re such a groupie that you can’t bear to exercise without everyone knowing you’re part of the Lacrosse team. You and the girls are so into your sport and you want the rest of the gym to know that you’re the President, because that’s what your official top says. You’ve got status in the gym and people should move out of your way when you do weighted lunges across the gym floor. It’s like they think you’re entitled or something.
With simple leggings and a casual top, you go to work out for you, not anybody else. You smash your PBs and you still make it to your 9am seminar. You’re doing it right.