We asked Paston House cleaners about the weirdest things they’ve ever walked in on

They’ve seen things

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From snoring through bin collections to being found midway through those awkward morning-after encounters with last night’s hook-up, we’ve all had some embarrassing moments with our cleaners.

But what do they think of us? We spoke to Paston House’s cleaners about the oddest moments they’ve experienced on the job.


“Of course there’s the usual early morning walks of shame in last night’s outfits, bum cheeks peeking out of the covers and the occasional “fuck off” when I’m confused for friends – and then the blushes when I walk in instead.

“A stand out moments wa probably a few years ago when Britten was getting built. A boy managed to climb up one of the cranes stark naked before getting caught and thrown off campus!”


“I knocked on a door not too long ago and after getting the go ahead to enter, I unlocked the door and walked in on a Chinese girl naked! I was so shocked and backed out of the room pretty quick. I don’t know who was more embarrassed – the poor girl or me.

“I’ve also walked into a flat with grass all over the corridor. I don’t now how but the students had managed to turf up the grass from outside and bring it all in to the flat.”


“A few years ago I cleaned out the bins of a student’s room. One day I went in and found him on his bed, on top of the covers, fiddling with himself with a pillowcase on his head. God knows why – probably imagining a girl on the other side of the sheet!

“More recently I walked in on a boy sitting at the desk with his headphones on, completely naked.”


“One Christmas, students had brought snow up from outside and actually made a snowman in the corridor. It was a weird thing to walk into! An ice sculpture from town was also brought back once in a shopping trolley and put on the roof of Norfolk terrace.”


“A few years ago when I was working in one of the international flats in the zigs, I walked into one of the shared bathrooms to see the shower curtain covered in blood and loads of blood in the shower. After, I went into the kitchen and there were loads of feathers on the floor. It was very odd.

“It turned out they’d had found live geese and chickens and killed them, let them bleed out in the shower and ate them. Apparently students in the floors above could see these poor animals running around the kitchen!”