I’m the loneliest Northerner at UEA

When I first moved to UEA I never expected it to be a haven for Northerners like myself.

But the more time I spend on campus the more painfully clear to me just how alone I am in the fight to preserve pride for the North.

UEA is a very southern-dominated University and the few Geordie tendencies I have seem to raise a lot of eyebrows. Friends, and anyone else who is lucky enough to come across me, have lots of questions.

Everyone here seems to struggle to understand anything I say, and I’m not even that Geordie. I never use any Geordie words or phrases, (except from “mortal”, that’s a classic).

Such a grumpy loner

And yet I’m constantly stopped mid-conversation because people haven’t understood anything that I’ve said, leaving me confused as to what was so unclear.

When people are able to understand me they laugh at my pronunciations of normal words. To everyone in Norwich the way I speak is a big joke and completely wrong in every way.

When I try to pronounce a word with a double O in it like “Book” or “Cook” people take it upon themselves to give me primary school English lessons.

And the worst part is, there’s no one who can back me up.

The severe lack of Northern accents at UEA means I struggle to find anyone who can fight off my critics and tell me I’m not speaking wrong.

Being so far from home also means that, whilst all my housemates have had friends visiting them, no one has dared to take the 11 hour Megabus expedition to come and visit me. Yes, seriously, 11 hours.

If any friends from the North came to visit I would have a teammate in my lonely crusade to make a good name for the North.

The bullies in Norwich would stop saying I “talk weird”.

When you’re the only Northerner at the party…

But it’s not just issues with the way I talk which seem to be a problem. The simple concept of the The North and being Northern seems to be looked on as a punishment. Like it’s the worst possible place you could ever end up.

Whenever I meet new people and tell them I’m from Newcastle, they always seem to stop, their face drops and they give me a sympathetic look as if they’ve just found a stray dog. It’s as if to say “It’s ok you’ll be safe down here with us now”.

The North is not that bad.

The idea that it’s grim up North is just absolutely rubbish when we have so much to offer.

From Ant and Dec to Geordie Shore, from Gazza to Greggs, Newcastle has something for everyone.

People need to stop looking at the North like it’s a godforsaken wasteland and embrace it in all its glory – much like the glory Northerners like myself bring to Norwich.

Fair enough, the harrowing 11 hour Megabus quest to Newcastle may not be the most glamorous trip for anyone to be put through.

But if you did dare to venture up North you would soon see that it’s not as backwards and downright wrong as you lot down here seem to think it is.

Besides, it’s a well known fact that the nightlife’s the best in the country, and surely that’s the most important thing for a student, right?