Miserable LCR breathalysing pissed punters

Joyless bouncers are testing students on the doors of LCR to see how drunk they are.

And it’s an easy test to fail as people are now being breathalysed to measure the amount of booze in their system. A spokesperson for the Union said:

“Our breathalyser is used almost every club night every week, as is the case in most Norwich venues. It’s an easy way of working out the blood alcohol level if our judgment is challenged and helps customers that we refuse understand.

“Given that serving intoxicated customers could lose us our license, for us it’s basically a legal requirement.”

Unsurprisingly, the students of UEA don’t support the tryannical indoctrination of temperance. One third year said: “I think it’s a good idea in some cases but ultimately I think decisions about being let it or kicked out should be down to a person’s behaviour and actions rather than data on a breathalyser.”

And some have already fallen prey to the puritanical staff at the LCR. One victim said: “I thought being kicked out based on my breathalyser readings was unfair as I was not obviously drunk enough to be kicked out solely based on my behaviour.

“I was annoyed – I definitely was not drunk enough especially compared to the majority of people at the LCR.”