The 10 people you meet in the LCR

The Mess

There’s something about the LCR. Whether it’s the cheap drinks, the guarantee of bumping into at least fifteen people you know, or the short stumble home, every UEA student is bound to have a messy one in the Lower Common Room at least once in their university career. It’s not dignified, but we’ve all been there.

The night starts off well – you’re throwing some pretty serious moves on the dancefloor, you’ve spotted the hottie from your Shakespeare seminar and you’re having the time of your life. Another three Jägerbombs can only make this night even better, right? Wrong. Fast forward three hours and the LCR becomes your own personal Drink Responsibly advert – all vomit, tears and regret.

Please look after me.

The Sober Friend

As the LCR is so synonymous with the loss of all dignity, remaining sober can actually be pretty enjoyable – watching your mates making fools of themselves is almost as fun as being the fool. This type of LCR attendee can be found taking hundreds of pictures of their friends in compromising situations and attempting to herd the same group into a taxi at the end of the night.

They don’t need any of this to have a good time.

The “Couple”

The only reason these two are attached at the tongue is the copious number of cheap drinks they have consumed and you can be pretty sure that even if they remember one another’s names, they will awkwardly avoid each other around campus until graduation. Still, with its sticky floors and cheesy music, who could fail to be tempted by the romantic setting of the LCR?

So classy.

The Costume Enthusiast

Themed nights at the LCR are cheesy, but amazing. Any UEA student that hasn’t thrown together a last minute costume made out of cardboard boxes and bed sheets has not experienced all that Norwich has to offer.

Some students take this to the next level – present at every #Tuesday, they’ve been covered in body paint so many times that their duvet is forever tinged a weird shade of green. Find them hungover in lectures the next morning with glitter still in their hair and with a purple morph suit on under their clothes.

Just an average Tuesday…

The Queue-Jumper

The Queue Jumper acts as if their drunken antics are in some way much more important than yours. They waltz past you to their friends at the front of the queue and barge their way to the bar as if the staff are there to serve them alone. Although their disregard for the most sacred of all British traditions is like a slap in the face, take solace in the fact that the line for the loo is something no man can overcome.

Queue jumpers will have no trouble getting past all this (Photo: Sam O’Doherty)

The Pep-Talkers

On a night out in the LCR you can be sure that girls will congregate in the toilets – make-up needs to be reapplied, gossip must be had, and three people need to squeeze into a cubicle to have the world’s loudest “private” conversation.

In amongst this craziness are the nicest girls you will ever meet. Your hair is the shiniest they have ever seen, they love your shoes and they want to know where your dress is from. You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol that’s making them behave this way, but you leave the bathroom feeling like you could put Beyoncé to shame.

The Cynic

While for most UEA students nothing can compare to the cheesy brilliance of the LCR, there are certain cynical few who will never truly understand the value of the Lower Common Room.

They’re only there because their flatmates dragged them along and they feel the need to let everyone know it, the bar doesn’t stock their favourite pinot noir, the playlist is far too Top 40 and the décor is a joke. The Cynic can complain all they like, but you can be pretty certain that when the Grease medley is played at the end of the night, they will be lip-synching “Summer Nights” with the best of them.

Only the finest Pinot Noir will do.

The Visiting Student

The LCR is fabulous in that it is a student union in which students can actually have a decent night out. Find the guest of a UEA student wandering around in drunken disbelief, shocked that a club night held in a café could be so popular.

So tame by day…

The Smoker

Ever since a metal cage replaced the entire Square as the LCR smoking area in the greatest debacle since burger-gate, the smokers have been a disgruntled bunch. Find them loudly complaining about the indignity of being trapped like an animal, or stood by the door debating whether their addiction is actually worth braving the sub-minus temperatures in the first place.

The smokers are still bitter over losing the Square.

The Alum

At first glance, this LCR-goer looks no different than any other student – they’re drunk, they’re hugging random people and they are bustling for space on the crowded dance floor alongside everybody else.

However, upon closer inspection, it becomes apparent that this is actually a UEA alum revisiting their glory days. Find them lecturing the current President of their favourite society about how much better socials were in the early noughties.

You can never regain the stamina you had as a student. (Photo: Matt Williams)