Meet the UEA student promising you a free cat

A UEA student has promised full communism, agrarian reforms, and cats for all during his campaign to run for NUS delgate.

The second-year History and Politics undergraduate, Elliot Folan (pictured below), is already an active member of the Union Council, and now hopes to take his political career to a national level.

In addition to the free cats (The Tab will take some mascot tabbies please, Elliot!), he also wishes to turf university management out of their offices to farm a giant UEA vegetable patch.

“From each according to their ability, to each according to their cat”

Mr Folan is running a campaign based on the teachings of Karl Marx in an attempt to revolutionise – or maybe just protest against – an organisation which he sees as unrepresentative and unwilling to stand up for students. His second major policy, and what the Tab feels is his ‘unique selling point’, is the provision of cats to all students, regardless of ability or need. In a statement to the Tab Comrade Folan said: “I’m half-serious. I’m in favour of free education and I’m on the political left. But I’m running as a joke candidate because the NUS is a joke.”

“We face the most rightwing government since Margaret Thatcher, a government that is hellbent on privatising everything it can lay its grubby little hands on; a government that tripled tuition fees, headed by a Prime Minister who wants to raise them even higher and a Deputy Prime Minister who wants to stop you and me from claiming any benefits at all. The NUS responds by lobbying MPs – again – and getting complimented by the government for being co-operative. I want an NUS that actually stands up for students today, and if we elect someone who thinks outside of the box then they will sit up and take notice”

Watch Elliot’s video here:

Mr Folan’s campaign is clearly not without humour, but he assures voters that if he is successful then he will fulfil his role and duty to represent them:

“In the event that I am elected, I will obviously represent students to the best of my ability as that would be my job. But I will also fight for a strongly socialist, strongly political National Union of Students and for the liberation of women, ethnic minorities, LGBTQ+ people and disabled people.”

Lenin – Widely known for his love of cats

The news of this campaign comes as a relief to the thousands of cat lovers on campus, who will no doubt be supporting Comrade Folan’s infamous “cat clause”. However, the Tab recognises that many dog lovers have been left concerned. Whilst the original Soviet Politburo were all confirmed cat fans, some students have questioned the tenacity in which political opponents were rounded up and – in some cases – executed in the Soviet Union, citing concern that those who refuse to conform and choose to own a dog instead may be subjected to prejudice. In response to these allegations, Mr Folan released this statement:

“I very much respect dog lovers and owners. The cats will be provided for students who want them; students who prefer dogs or hamsters will ideally be given that option.”

Feature photo: bangstyle.com