It’s getting towards the end of the semester and, for many of us unlucky souls, the student loan has officially run out. To help in this time of need, here are some crafty (and scarily desperate) ways to save money.

1. Steal Toilet Paper From The Library

Shh, no-one will know!

Loo paper is something which, despite being a necessity, we are really loathe to spend money on. The thought of paying £5 or more for Andrex when that money could be used to buy Jagerbombs/ food is infuriating, so why not just steal a few rolls from toilets around uni? They have more than enough to go around…

2. Don’t turn on the heating, just wear layers!

Yes, she is that housemate.

Heating a house costs money, but if you simply wrap yourself in every piece of clothing you own then you can save pounds, while also looking fashionable…

3. Never Buy Condoms

If I hide behind the sexual health leaflets, no-one will see me…

Ask and you shall receive, at the sexual health stand in the SU building, or in the Health Centre where they are simply desperate for you to be safe, and you are desperate to save money. Win-Win.

4. Stock Up On Condiments

Yum…vinegar

When buying soup at The Campus Kitchen, maybe you need more than one butter portion.   Maybe you need five. Maybe you need ten. Perhaps you also need to save some salt and pepper for later – in a container which you have brought with you ‘just in case’. Crafty.

5. Wash Your Hair With Washing-up Liquid

Fairy Liquid is useful throughout the home!

Sure, it may make your formerly lustrous locks brittle and impossible to brush and dry, yet somehow simultaneously greasy, but the grunge look is in (?) and you just saved yourself a fiver!

Or…

You could just live off pasta and Lidl-value ‘hard cheese’ like the rest of us.