A Load Of Pollocks
Norfolk landlord John Wood has admitted to lying about fighting off four attackers without dropping his chips.
Chloe LyonsAfter convincing the world he had single-handedly fought off four attackers without dropping a single chip, pub landlord John Wood has admitted to lying about the attack.
The story made international news, fooling even us at The Tab. Wood, 37, claimed he was cornered in an alleyway in Wisbech as he left Frank’s Fish and Chip Shop.
‘Wood’ you mess with this guy?
He went into some detail about how he battered his attackers while holding onto his dinner. He even suffered a ‘stab wound’ to the chest.
He carped on about his act of heroism: “I didn’t even drop the chips. It was all done one-handed. They weren’t even squashed when I got home.”
After causing some haddock, the landlord from Marshland St James has been forced to hand over £80 for wasting police time.
A police statement said: a “37 year old male was issued with a Fixed Penalty Notice for wasting police time.”
We have to say, it was quite shellfish of him really. Detective Inspector Dave Murphy said: “This man not only wasted police time, but he also raised the fear of crime in the community.”
Mr Wood should have known, the police weren’t prawn yesterday.
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