UEA’s Worst Chat-Up Lines

“You must be a parking ticket, because you have fine written all over you…”

Let’s face it, the moment a drunken man purrs this in your ear is always awkward.  From the cheesy to the plain crude, chat up lines are rarely original. That said, they remain a ‘go-to’ for lads and ladies alike when aiming to capture the attention of someone they like the look of in the LCR.

Some may think the art of ‘wooing’ with words is outdated, but recent experience of Norwich nightlife has proved that many Casanovas out there are determined to keep the chat-up line in use. The Tab has been collecting your cringe worthy anecdotes; it seems that UEAers have been thinking up some ‘unusual’ lines to avoid the cliché come-on.

These are some of our favourites:

The Mercy Man: “I’m a professional ballerina.” Third year LDC student Charlotte Cox was unimpressed by this man’s line in the Mercy smoking area. The strange thing…he had clearly never seen a ballet in his life.

The Tau Man: “If you come home with me, I’ll make you cum.” Sent in by Anon, third Year LDC student. Wow. Errr, at least they’re confident!

The LCR Lady: “I’m a fashion stylist, do you want to be a model?” sent in by Anon, Medic.

The LCR Man: “I’m in the RAF, I’m only in town for one night.”  And you’re spending that one night in the LCR why..? Amy Cornwell (third year LDC student) had her doubts as to whether this man was a genuine member of the RAF….wonder why.

Unfortunately for the ‘wooers’, these lines did not have the desired effect. But can a chat-up line ever work? Apparently blatant lies and crude statements that make your ‘prospective pull’ recoil in disgust are not a great idea. Keep it respectful though, and you do get marks for trying. Tip: a genuine compliment goes a long way…

The Lola Lo Man: “You’re glorious, you look like Keira Knightly.” No, I really don’t. No amount of Malibus would ever make me believe this is true. Sorry Lola Lo man, next time, aim lower.

Had a chat-up nightmare of your own? Or maybe you’ve got a tried and tested line that never fails. Let us know in the comments below.