Is it wrong to hook up with your flatmate?

Verity Stone debates the taboo of falling for someone you live with


So, you’ve got your eye on someone…they’re incredibly hot and attractive, funny, sociable, literally everything under the sun that ticks your boxes, but there’s just one problem – you live with them. Should you pursue it or is it just a recipe for disaster, destined to end in tears followed by a whole load of awkwardness?

For many, relationships at university are just for the short-term and so the idea of hooking up with someone you live with can seem a little bit off-putting if you’ve already decided you’re not looking for something serious.

I, however, ignored potential consequences, followed my gut and just dived right in. I hooked up with my boyfriend at the beginning of my second semester in my first year (last year) and we’re still living together and going strong for nearly ten months now! Although for me, the hardest part was not because of living together, but because of the friendship factor.

Whether you live with someone or not, going from being really good friends with someone and then deciding to take it to the next step is always tough to consider. However, after all the emotional drama, I knew that whether it worked out or not, no matter how awkward it would be, I had to go for it.

Seeing each other every day, of course, doesn’t help when trying to suppress feelings because you’ve decided it’s best not to take the chance in case it doesn’t work. So it was a case of putting myself through hell versus maybe eventually putting myself through hell; going for the former seemed a lot more reasonable and plus, you never know, it may just work!

As mentioned before, it’s best to steer clear if you know all you’re after is a short-term fling, but if you know you definitely want more out of it then don’t keep stressing about what other people might think – you can’t force a feeling out of you, it’s not possible and it’s not fair.

My other flatmates were all for it, and to be honest, I’m sure they’d rather not witness the awkward sexual tension as well as seeing us both miserable all the time. It’s not incestuous – you just live together, and even if it doesn’t work out, you won’t be living with them forever.

Flatmate love is viewed as one of the university cliché taboos, but don’t let yourself miss out on an opportunity because of what you think might go wrong. What kind of world would we be living in if nobody did anything in case of what might happen?