The Tab Tries: Chatroulette

I never thought I’d see a grown man riding a rocking horse naked.

But I have. In just one brief stint on Chatroulette, I laid eyes on some monstrosities that no amount of Disney films will ever erase from my mind.

Chatroulette is an online chat website that connects strangers from all over the world using the medium of webcam.

If you chose to press the elusive ‘start’ tab then you are instantly connected to another user. If you want to chat with a person you can type or speak using a microphone, if you would rather not you have the option of ‘nexting’ them.

It is almost as though it is an online speed dating device, with around two seconds being the average amount of time it takes one to decide whether to ‘next’ somebody. It is a pure procrastination device, perfect for freshers who want a break from their studies.

Although from humble origins, Chatroulette has now amassed a reported 1.5 million users. Last night I decided to find out why. Despite knowing I was on the website strictly for research, I found myself looking over my shoulder like a naughty child.

There is an indulgent, yet dangerous quality to the website that makes you wonder what you have taken on. Despite my usual thrill seeking ways I was hesitant to press the ‘start’ button. Who would I be connected with? Will they be clothed?

The answer was no. Most of my potential online friends did not want to show me their face. Instead I was confronted with an endless show of male members staring back at me, some expertly concealed in red satin, some looking me straight in the eye.

In just ten minutes, I had listened to a charming serenade, cringed at a fifty-something uncle type who should have stuck to porn; and nexted an owl-eyed little boy who I chastised because he looked too young to be on there.

Besides, I was affronted with his cold demand for ‘boobs.’ Where was the ‘please?’ However, as well as these quirky characters I did come across many seemingly ‘normal’ people who just wanted a chat to pass the time (Jenny from Plymouth was waiting for the plumber to come round, Scott from Illinois was bored of Facebook stalking his colleagues.)

Chatroulette is a fascinating insight into the behaviour of people from all walks of life once they are given an audience. In essence, it is an edgy social experiment, it is no holds barred entertainment, it is voyeurism. If nothing else, Chatroulette is a gritty lesson in male anatomy.

Once upon a time sitting in a darkened room watching a man dancing in a monkey suit whilst he may or may not be aroused would have been frowned upon. However, thanks to Chatroulette, such unusual situations have become less shocking.

Unfortunately, my time on Chatroulette came to an abrupt end for me when I was nexted by an old whiskered man who said I was, in his words, ‘too brunette.’ Positively heartbroken.