Lonely at uni

Do you remember back in the good ol’ sixth form days, when the future looked bright because the future was university?

You heard about the adventures you’d have, the friends you’d make, and the things you’d learn, academically and otherwise.

Picking up those A-Level results and getting that much anticipated university place confirmed was the perfect ending to a school journey. As one door closes, they say, another opens. It certainly does.

‘You’re going to have the time of your life’. ‘Work hard, party harder’. ‘Make the most of the university services available’. ‘For god’s sake, use a condom’. The advice came in bucket loads, it was suffocating. I remember being told how amazing Fresher’s week would be, being able to craft out a new identity in a place where you could be whoever you wanted.

Why then, from my third year pedestal, do I remember, amongst all of the good things that came, a deep, burning loneliness making an appearance? Ok, so, it comes less now that I’m in third year, but it is still there, leaving me wondering whether I’ll ever shake it off.

I was the lucky one who got a free ticket to the hotly anticipated fairground LCR on the Saturday of Fresher’s week. Yes, that was me! During the day, I cried to my parents on Skype because I felt so restricted by the four walls of my student halls and thought, by day six, I should have gotten over the homesickness.

But that night, I forgot my loneliness and embraced the LCR. I had a lot of fun, don’t get me wrong, but I cried as soon as I got home. And the night after that. And the night after that.

As first year progressed, we became fully fledged Freshers, no longer looking lost on the way to the CD Annex. Despite being settled, I still felt alone and often wondered if I was the only one. I made so many great friends, but felt that university was not what I’d signed up for.

Second year did bring some of the best times of my life. Even then, I never really found my feet. I love UEA, I love Norwich, and I certainly don’t miss the controlling forces of the homeland.

Is it normal to feel this loneliness when I’m a happy-go-lucky kinda girl? The one who always going out, with the ridiculous tales to tell of drunken nights, of embarrassing phone calls and of intimate instances deeply regretted the next morning. That’s me. Always smiling. So why do I feel lonely?

When I told a friend, she was shocked, but thinking about it, realised she had felt it too. It’s surprising how many people I’ve met since who have admitted behind their beaming student-y personas are people craving their place in the world.

So, fresh meat of UEA, my advice to you is to embrace this journey, work hard and play harder- in the first year mainly. Let the winds of academia and change take you wherever you are destined.

Enjoy UEA, it’s a wonderful place, but don’t be afraid of feeling lonely. You never know, the person sitting next to you in the in that seminar you’re falling asleep could be feeling it too! You are not alone in your loneliness.