How to… Procrastinate this Deadline Week

A short guide of how to avoid work indefinitely.

essays How to procrastinate

It’s getting to that time in the semester again: deadline day is looming, and most of us haven’t even started to write that final piece of coursework. Yes, we have been told countless times that the word limit is 3,000; but getting past 300 (or even writing the title…) is the first test! 

 

Yes, we know we should be in the library, frantically flicking through books in order to find out what the HELL our lecturer was talking about three weeks ago! Yes, we know that finals are the most important exams of our lives to date! But that's not going to stop us stalking every single one of the 783 photos of that school friend we haven't seen in about 5 years.

The reality of the situation is that today; tomorrow; and probably the next day too, will not be conducive to working. There will be something – let’s be honest – anything better to do than writing that essay, and with the weather at the moment, who can blame us?

Procrastination is the art of placing tremendous importance on sometimes useless, sometimes mundane, or sometimes much more interesting tasks, in order to avoid doing something important. The general belief is that procrastination is not a good thing because it delays the inevitable and puts a spanner in the works of getting things done on time.

But if you find yourself in this situation, and cannot make the decision of what to do in order to avoid work indefinitely, check this out. You may as well avoid work in style! Please note that this list is by no means exhaustive.

Social networking

Top of the list of things to do when avoiding work is a cheeky check of Facebook. It’s often the first port of call once you log on to your computer. “I just want to see if I have any notifications… it might be important” I hear you say. Once you have clicked refresh a few times, stalked your ex-girlfriend’s sister, then changed your profile picture at least twice, half an hour has quite easily passed. You’ve not even begun to see what the cast of Made in Chelsea is doing on Twitter yet! Besides, LinkedIn could help you get a job…

Planning your summer

“So, what’s the cheapest flight you can get on Ryan Air?” I asked a friend yesterday as she trawled through the list of destinations. “Well, you can get a £60 return flight to Ibiza in May. Have we finished then?” she replied. I don’t even want to go to Ibiza. I definitely don’t have the cash to spend there, but right now, just the idea of going on holiday is enough. The spring weather – yes, SPRING; it’s definitely not hot enough to sun bathe – conjures up pictures of picnics, sandy beaches, and cocktails by the pool.

Sit in the Square or by the lake

Did someone say cocktails? If you can’t book a holiday, sitting in the Square with a pint or a jug of Pimms is the next best thing. Any outsider visiting the Square from 11am onwards will be met with a crowd of students catching some rays, and avoiding the stuffy prison of the library at all costs. The ice cream – of which the best flavour is, of course, Norfolk Raspberry – is highly recommended; as are the chocolate frappes in the Hive if you're still hungover from the night before. Sunshine = Vitamin D = happy, and therefore, productive student. It’s basic maths.

Online shopping

When you have finally prised yourself away from the sun and returned to the crypt down on floor 01, take a few minutes to check out the latest ASOS sale. If you have spent the last half an hour in the Square taking note of what’s in fashion with the students of UEA, do not fear. With the click of a mouse you can purchase the exact same dip hem skirt from the Topshop website without even having to set foot in Norwich city centre. Alternatively, shop for beach attire, ready for the holiday you have planned! Concurrent activity is practically the same as being productive.

Exercise

I don’t know about you, but swim wear shopping can be a bit of a guilt trip. Not the kind that forces you to start that essay, but a motivator to get you to the gym! Any kind of exercise is technically not procrastinating: it’s beneficial, and cleanses the body and soul… Keep telling yourself that and you won’t feel the slightest pang of remorse when you ditch the library to go on a cheeky bike ride to the coast.

New found enthusiasm for cleaning

Another ‘productive’ way to fill your time is to re-discover the joys of scrubbing that kitchen floor, or organising your wardrobe. Cleaning is not usually associated with student living, but you can guarantee, when I am avoiding work at all costs, I will remember that refolding my underwear, and arranging it in colour coordinated piles is a task I have needed to do for weeks. Like I said before, if anyone complains that you are cleaning, remind them that a healthy and clean environment is one conducive to learning.

Sex

Enough said. If you don’t have a partner, there is always ‘procrastibation’.

Write for the UEA Drop

I have to plug what is one of the best ways to spend your time when avoiding work indefinitely. I wrote this whilst metaphorically running away from writing an essay on European foreign policy in Victorian Britain. It’s something great to put on your C.V.; offers you with an outlet for your creative ideas; helps you practice writing in a colloquial style; and is pretty fun too (ignore this understatement – writing for the Drop is the most fun you can have with your clothes on. Editor)! Whether you enjoy writing about news, sport, or music, there will be something for you at the UEA Drop. Send us an article to [email protected], or check us out on Facebook!