Take Me Out Columnists

Here’s two of the entries we had in for our TMO columnist competition.

Take Me Out

 

GRACE MORRIS shares her thoughts on last Saturday's show: 

Take Me Out is a complete guilty pleasure. We could talk about how this show is degrading to women and treats men like pieces of meat, but I’d rather just kick back on a Saturday night (pre-LCR drinking game when you take a drink every time one of the girls says something cringe-worthy, anyone?) and just enjoy it for what it is – a bit of silly fun. After all, Paddy McGuiness, the show’s host, even refers to it at the beginning as a “dating circus”.

 

The first “single lad” who comes down the Love Lift is Ben from Leeds, who does a rather impressive back flip in his entrance dance. We find out later on that he is a Team GB tumbler, which reduces many of the girls to gushing about how talented and amazing he is. TMO would be nothing without the very odd comments that some of the girls make. One blonde girl named Alex told him that he would make a fantastic clown for a kid’s birthday party…is that a compliment? In the third round, Ben does a very impressive gymnastics routine and manages to score a date. His question to the two remaining girls, Jude and Emma, is as cheesy as gorgonzola – how would you make me tumble head over heels for you? Oh dear.

 

Next up we have Charles from Cheshire, a farmer, which sends Paddy straight over to the resident farm girl, Stephanie. Oh, Stephanie. As usual she does more giggling than she does actual talking, although she helpfully tells Charles that she’s very good at driving tractors and would love to help him on the farm. She looks like a lot of fun, although I imagine that the reason she gets her light turned off all the time is due to men finding her a bit over the top. For some bizarre reason Charles’ third round consists of one of his former dates telling us that the worst thing about him is that he smells of cow. This makes all the girls turn off their lights apart from…Stephanie! I’ll miss that girl.

 

The last guy of the night is Renny from Essex, a casually dressed bloke with a goatee. Despite coming down the Love Lift to N-Dubz, he reveals that he is in a rock band, which inevitably means that he shows off his singing skills in the third round. There seems to be a bit of a spark between him and Charlotte, a lovely girl who has been rejected a total of eighteen times this series. Every week there always seems to be a guy who still lives at home with his parents, and every time this causes a lot of the lights to suddenly go out and this week was no exception. However, by the end he has a few girls still interested and eventually chooses Charlotte. Paddy gives her a huge hug and tells her that he will miss her. It’s so nice to see Charlotte finally get a date!

 

In addition to this chaos, we are shown the dates that the couples from last week go on at the Isle of Fernandos. Unfortunately, it’s all very disappointing. Chloe is very unimpressed by her date’s table manners when he plays with his food and then ends up feeding it to the cats nearby. Michael and Sophie realise that there is a ten year age gap between them and that they are both after completely different things in a relationship. Lastly, Natasha and Ollie’s date is not much better when they realise they don’t have any chemistry. Ollie says at one point that he normally goes for brunettes, which is not something that Natasha, a blonde, wants to hear!

 

Number of guys I would have left my light on for: 2 (Ben and Renny)

 

Paddy’s best line: “Let the horn see the blower!”
 

 

 

 

And now for CHLOE LYONS column…

So it’s that time of the week again where we all turn off our brains and watch a helpless lamb fall from the love lift, to fall prey to thirty hungry lions.

 

‘’Let the horn, see the blower’’

 

Human sprinkler, Ben, from Leeds is the first to surface from the love lift. The ultimate insult is quick to follow from new girl Alex: ‘do you do kid’s parties?’ He didn’t look too impressed (probably the reason he turned her light out at the end).

Fortunately for Ben, he found Jude, who took the liberty of showing us her ‘Pinocchio dance’ (which was not all that impressive I can imagine for a tumbler for Great Britain, but we must give him his dues for being gentlemanly and pretending that he found it amusing). The most amusing thing about this couple was the height difference.

 

‘’Let the brass, see the monkeys’’

 

Well to-do Charles from Cheshire is the next to become prey to the ladies, and prey he certainly did become! Thanks to his ‘better than thou’ attitude and fixation on money, he was close to a blackout. But alas, there is light at the end of the tunnel, in the form of Stephanie! That’s right. She never has seemed particularly picky, and Charles didn’t look too impressed with the date he ended up with to be honest. But at least she’s gone; I can watch Take Me Out for peace of knowing that I won’t have to listen to herhideous guffaw any more.

 

‘’Let the scotch, see the egg’’

 

Scrabble loving Renny from Essex, seemed to be pleasing the ladies, especially Katie B, who led us on with a desperate story of how a previous date left while she was in the toilet (not surprised) hoping to gage the sympathy vote. Luckily, Renny didn’t fall for her desperate act, and went with the lovely Charlotte, who had her light turned off 18 times over the course of the series!

 

So that’s it for this week, we can all turn our brains back on and get back to our degrees because for now, it’s lights out, all out.