We rate ourselves as average looking and pretty stupid

We’re the 59th happiest students in the UK, according to a new league table.

The rankings with a twist, published by Student Money Saver’s alternative league table, also revealed we think we’re the 75th most beautiful students.

We gave ourselves a modest 2.54 of out five for looks, with rivals Newcastle ranking themselves 2.78.

We came 59th in the country, an average of 3.69, in terms of how happy we are, narrowly just ahead of Newcastle who scored 3.44.

Is she happy?

Intelligence saw Northumbria vote itself a solid three out of five, which sounds ok when the national average is 3.31.

But this put us in 107th overall, so good job we’re here for the drinks and the sports teams anyway.

Not surprisingly, our red brick rival ranked itself 3.5.

Fortunately we don’t think we’re the biggest dicks when it comes to spending our cash or how poor we are, getting an average score 2.92.

And considering how much happens on the Toon, only 23 per cent of Northumbrians admit they’ve thrown up or pissed all over someone else’s house and not cleaned it up – compared with the dull 11 per cent who had done so at Newcastle.

When it came to scoring drugs, 38 per cent of us felt if we wanted to get our hands on some narcotics in a day we could, being pipped to the post by Newcastle who came out with 39 per cent. Who’d have thought they’d be less sensible than us?

‘Poor and simple gonna be there’

Despite the Geordie Shore lifestyle many of us are drawn to when choosing Newcastle as our student home, only 23 per cent of us think we’re the UK’s biggest party animals, while 33 per cent of Newcastle boffs think they deserve the title. Who are they kidding?

Student Money Saver complied the results by asking students all over the UK the hot questions on everyone’s lips, like which uni students are the biggest dicks with their money, and where to go to get express drugs.

Scores were given between 0 (being the least of something) and five (the most) and through percentages, depending on how you rated your uni.

The shockingly average results came just before it was revealed Northumbria’s once again dropped in league tables to 68th place.